LIPPER Memorial Extravaganza

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

The generosity of those participating in the LIPPER Memorial Extravaganza was just fantastic as we raised $435 for ACS's Relay for Life.  All should be commended (Thank You!) with special note of Sheriff Hacker Bob's $100 check and to Steve "Guido" Schaffer.  Some of you may not know Guido, but his friendship with LIPPER goes back (like the HHI Founding Fathers) to our days at Penn State.  Steve came in near the end of our Railroad House Luncheon and insisted on picking up the tab as his LIPPER Memorial contribution with all the monies which had already been collected for that then going to this worthy cause.  Guido also has a Hoops tie-in as he played in the PSU "Ram-Jam" (8 foot baskets) League back in the early 80's while "wearing" a body cast after back surgery which may be the most amazing thing I've seen on a basketball court even after 20 years of Hills Hoops Inc. (HHI).

The LIPPER Memorial Extravaganza started with Hoops at Grace Church (who Graciously agreed to waive the facility fee for today so those monies could go to Relay for Life).  Even with late cancellations, HHI injured reserve, and those who had to work--we still had a Bo Derek "Perfect 10" in action as follows:
* HHI Founding Fathers = Mighty Kerr, Scholesinator, Swoop & Jack Strap along with Gary "Muggsy" Raihl who hasn't played in years but goes way back to the HHI days at Cornwall Terrace 20 years ago
* HHI Legends = Energizer Boni, Bank'in Bowers, Radon Rader, Gary U.S. Bonds, and Alan "The Question" I-Vath-son

Game 1 saw the Founding Fathers jump out to a 9-3 lead led by the sharp-shooting of Gary "Muggsy" Raihl who allegedly hadn't picked up a regulation basketball for 3 years, but then Gary badly jammed his hand on a freak play and it quickly swelled up--putting him out of action for the day.  Later Bank'in Bowers took him to Urgent Care which as he texted was "jammed with sick people", but Gary finally got an x-ray with a diagnosis of a "bad, bad strain" which is better than it looked.

So with that aforementioned 9-3 lead, the Founding Fathers agreed to play short-handed after which the Legends slowly but surely chipped away at that lead to make the Founding Fathers sweat, but somehow the FF's held on for the win.

Game 2 of the LIPPER Memorial saw the Legends "power play" jump to an early lead that looked to be leading to a blowout as Energizer Boni proved to be their zone buster.  But the Founding Fathers kept battling and got within 14-12 with a chance to tie it with a deuce before Radon Rader put the game away with a putback.

Bowers then departed with Raihl to Urgent Care as noted above, so the Daily Championship Game was a 4-on-4 affair.  This was an HHI Classic "comically entertaining" & ugly game with Diggetty Doug Bails (who was spectating with Hacker Bob due to injuries) quipping "that's why you want to play because it's much worse to watch this".  But somehow (perhaps with some divine LIPPER Help from above), the Founding Fathers won the DC in storybook fashion.

So as per HHI Tradition, there was an Iron Man Finale which Scholesy & Radar sat out after limping thru the DC on bad knees.  So it was 3-on-3 half court which was fitting as that's exactly how (what is now) HHI started 20 & a half years ago.  My most vivid memories of this game (and feel free to add your own Comments to this LIPPER Memorial Extravaganza report) were Boni draped on Mighty like a cheap suit, the play where Swoop out of controlly swooped into Vath & Gary US Bonds leaving all 3 down on the court (Vath got the worst of it, but at a young 47--he did return to action), and Swoop hitting the IMF LIPPER Memorial Title game-winner for the HHI FF's. 

Then it was on to the Railroad House for the LIPPER Memorial Extravaganze Luncheon.  There Mini Flat Lip (see below pics) & today's Hoopsters Scholesy, Kerry, Swoop, Boni, Rader, and yours truly Jack Strap were joined by Iron Mike, Quick Mike, Bails, Hacker, Old School Bruce & Commish Emeritus Collin (and later the aforementioned Guido Schaffer).  There we enjoyed mass quantities of good food & beverages & info sharing & laughs, although there was one "tense moment" when Quick Mike "maturely" shot a spit ball or was it an ice chip or was it a poison dart through a straw at Commish Emeritus Collin.  After initially being stunned, Collin then leaped to his feet with his cold hands raised as he was ready to "drop the gloves like Olde Time Hockey" (speaking of hockey, Iron Mike was sporting a great Austrian Hockey jersey).  Then Referee Radon Rader (Triple R) as the Peacemaker had to physically restrain the combatants. 

After that, yours truly followed a crazy driving Quick Mike to Jerry Wojo-Mojo's home at Da Hills to see how the HHI Commish was doing.  Wojo couldn't make it to the LIPPER Memorial Extravaganza because he's recovering from prostate cancer surgery.  Good news is that the intensive surgery did get all the cancer, but he had some complications Christmas night that landed him back at the hospital temporarily.  He looked & sounded very good on our visit, although his mobility is somewhat limited by two drains & a catheter.

So the LIPPER Memorial Extravaganza was a great success (despite my aches & pains in today's after math) and Thanks to All who participated.  For All HHIers ("Old Timers" & "Younger Timers") included those who wanted to but couldn't make it yesterday--we'll plan another LIPPER Memorial Extravaganza @ Da Hills when the weather gets nice.  And for those who prefer pictures to my words, see below "candid" photos taken by HHI Photographer Al Vath & his assistant Boni:

HHI THANKS GIVING

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap,

There is much HHI THANKS GIVING to be done starting with the strong friendships of the HHI Founding Fathers that have been further strengthened by 20+ years of hooping.  Then there's HHI THANKS GIVING for the many-many new friends made over these golden years of basketball at Cornwall Terrace, the Owls Sports Complex, Ozzie's, Grace Church, and of course--Da Hills.  Also HHI THANKS GIVING to the new generation of Hoopsters that kept the league going thru the 20th Anniversary a few months back which was very important to me.  Those new players appear to have mixed well with some long-timers and of course the remaining Founding Fathers still playing regularly: Swoop & Mighty.

Mighty Kerr should be commended with HHI THANKS GIVING for the fine job he's doing keeping The League organized & moving forward despite the increasing number of Hoopsters retired, relocated, injured, etc.  I enjoy reading his HHI Reports and also re-post them on the Hills Hoops Inc. (HHI) Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/pages/Hills-Hoops-Inc-HHI/140604299289633?ref=ts&fref=ts.  HHI THANKS GIVING that Kerry also made a brilliant HHI Organ-i-zation (say it like an olde time hockey player) move a few years back by appointing Coach Bill as HHI Director of Recruiting.

Coach Bill was once chastised for recruiting/inviting players when HHI was in its hey-day & players attendance was booming.  But now he's a modern day HHI Hero earning THANKS GIVING for doing so as a Hoopsters infusion has been much needed for HHI Sustainability.  That's why I have his back regarding the NCAA sanctions that were just levied against him for so called HHI Recruiting Violations.

Once again the NCAA has over-stepped its bounds by Vacating all of Coach Bill's HHI Daily Championships, but then they just added Insult to Injury by vacating all of his Deuces.  Well Jack Strap isn't going to sit idly by during NCAA vs. Coach Bill as I plan to reprise this trial scene from Animal House: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROxvT8KKdFw    

Happy THANKSGIVING from HHI!!!

20th ANNIVERSARY DREAM TEAMS

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

A lot of people don't know this, but there were two (2) different DREAM TEAMS formed in the Summer of 1992.  You had those NBA guys who the media made out to be heroes after they rolled over the Angolans & some soccer-playing countries to win the gold medal.  And then there were the Founding Fathers of what is known today as Hills Hoops Inc. (HHI) who have shied away from the limelight and are still playing today just for the luv of the game.  In fact there was only one reporter who was ever allowed to see HHI play which was Brian "You Bet Your Sweet Bippy" Rippey whose related story should have garnered him a Pulitzer Prize.  

So after 20 years of HHI trying to schedule a game against That Other DREAM TEAM, today on HHI's 20th ANNIVERSARY we were finally able to match up these two (2) 1992 DREAM TEAMS at Grace Church as they refused to play HHI on their Home Court @ Da Hills.  Today's 20th ANNIVERSARY DREAM TEAMS Line-Ups:

• That Other DREAM TEAM = Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, Karl Malone, David Robinson, Patrick Ewing, John Stockton, Chris Mullen, Scottie Pippen, Clyde Drexler, and the 12th Man Christian Laettner
• The HHI DREAM TEAM = Founding Fathers Mighty Kerr, Swoop POletti, Scholesinator, Knee Scab Phil, Reitzy (who Retired after HHI's 1st Game in 1992), Yours Truly Jack Strap, and The Man in the Middle now residing in Heaven: John "The Giant Lipper" Liptock.  Now it was very difficult to pick the rest of this DREAM TEAM even with Reitzy & Lipper not taking up roster spots.  Note there have been by now close to 200 players who have laced it up for HHI in the past 20 years.  The rest of The HHI DREAM TEAM: Iron Mike (who due to a very bad back couldn't play today so made an agreement with another good shooter with back problems, Larry Bird, that they would both sit out today's game and not take a roster spot), Magnum Mike (who took the "Open Mike" roster spot), Quick Mike, Swishy Kurtzy, Scott the Shot (who lobbied as hard for this roster spot as he does for the ball), X-Smoker Bob/D.D. Bails share this roster spot, Coach Bill, and our 12th Man Chucky "Boy" Barbera (who got one more vote than Energizer Boni as it was a popularity contest).  The Official HHI Commish for this DREAM TEAM match-up was "Da Dance'in Boy" Collin.

The opening tip was David Robinson vs. the Memory of Lipper (HHI Started with only the Four Founding Fathers with the most games played the past 20 years) and The Admiral did a very nice thing by purposely tipping the ball to the HHI DREAM TEAM.  HHI then established that this wasn't going to be a friendly exhibition by inserting Knee Scab Phil into the game as their 5th Man to box out David Robinson.

As you would expect with players of this DREAM TEAMS caliber, the action was fast & furious and the baskets filled up quickly with points.  Amongst the many highlight-reel plays was Scholesinator hitting a turnaround while kicking Karl Malone in the shins sending a message to the Mail Man that he didn't invent that shot, Swoop Swooping to his Right (Note That Other DREAM TEAM had no film of HHI to study) for a bucket, Mighty hitting a pull-up jumper, Jack Strap calling his banker shot from the wing, Phil diving to come up with loose balls, Quick Mike nailing a deuce before leaving to prepare for a meeting at CarTech tomorrow, Magnum Mike skying to the rim for a lay-up before everyone realized that the HHI basket was only set at 9 feet, Swishy Kurtzy passing up shots he would normally take to run the HHI Offense, Scott the Shot taking all those shots that Kurtzy passed up, X-Smoker Bob somehow getting a driving shot up & in with Patrick Ewing sweating all over him before giving way to D.D. Bails who found his 2nd favorite spot (#1 is at the Bar) at the foul line for a bucket.

So it was getting late in the HHI's 20th ANNIVERSARY game and the HHI DREAM TEAM finally opened up a bit of lead when Coach Bill called for the ball well beyond the deuce line as he was in Bermuda.  But you know Coach, he thought it was within his range so he fired & air-balled it into the Atlantic Ocean before going back on vacation.  That was just the opening That Other DREAM TEAM needed to comeback as Charles "The Round Mound" Barkley rattled the rim with a dunk off a be-a-u-tiful alley-oop from Magic and then Michael Jordan took over with a couple of spectacular moves for his DREAM TEAM--the last of which he scored while the Big 10 Officials whistled a controversial block on Swoop who then joined all the other HHI Founding Fathers on the bench as they'd all fouled out, so the HHI DREAM TEAM called a time out.

Suddenly we have a new paragraph & Gene "Hoosiers" Hackman appeared as the Coach on the HHI DREAM TEAM bench.  Gene called down the bench "We need you in the game Chucky".  Note Chucky Boy hadn't played since the 10th Anniversary of HHI, so when he got up off the bench, he left behind his cheeks' prints.  MJ then hit the foul shot to finish the 3-point play & pull That Other DREAM TEAM within one.  HHI's Kurtzy then dribbled time off the clock, but when he was double-teamed by Pippen & Jordan he found Chucky Boy wide open in the corner.  Chucky promptly dribbled the ball off his foot & out of bounds as he was a bit rusty after 10 years off.  That Other DREAM TEAM then took a play right out of HHI's playbook as put in there by Knee Scab Phil--the "{cough} give-and-go" which Stockton & Jordan worked to perfection to take the lead.  

HHI then called another time out with several ticks left on the 20th ANNIVERSARY clock.  HHI Coach Hackman then said "listen we're not going to run the picket fence because they've all seen the end of Hoosiers and will be expecting it plus Jimmie Chitwood isn't on this team.  Instead we're going to clear out for Chucky Boy to take Michael Jordan one-on-one, Mano-a-Chucko.  The HHI Founding Fathers think he's crazy, but hey--he's Gene Hackman.  So it all came down to that and the gym was totally quiet (because Gary US Bonds' kids weren't there) except for Chuck bouncing the ball when with 2 seconds left he makes his move just as Jordan goes for the steal.  There's a collision, a whistle and......................a foul on Jordan called by Hacker Bob!!

Time out by That Other DREAM TEAM to try to ice C-Boy.  Coach Hackman says "when Chucky hits the 2nd shot and (looks at Chuck) you will hit the 2nd shot, everybody get back on defense as they'll have time for a desperation shot".  Chuck goes to the line and then ala Wilt, under-hands in the 1st shot to tie the game.  After some trash talk in Chucky's ear from Jordan & Barkley, the 2nd shot goes up & looks to be off a little to the right when I swear I saw the long arm of Lipper reach down from Heaven & guide the shot in.  When MJ's desperation half court shot hits off the front of the rim the HHI DREAM TEAM took home the HHI Daily Championship on their 20th ANNIVERSARY.    

THE TROUBLE WITH WEATHER FORECASTING

By Your HHI & 3P Athletics Supporter, Jack Strap

THE TROUBLE WITH WEATHER FORECASTING is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.  So based on the WEATHER FORECAST early yesterday AM as well as the dark & ominous clouds, HHI moved inside to Grace for some 4-on-4 Hoops.  During that same time period, the WEATHER ended up nice outside & actually less hot than inside.

Mighty Kerr will provide the full HHI report, but it will suffice to say that Captain Jack Strap more than "kept up with the HHI level of play" without the use of a "walker" or "oxygen bottle" (reference "vicious" email cheap shots by Swoop & Vath).  And ultimately left town under the dark of night (which reminds me of George Carlin's WEATHER FORECAST for tonight: Dark) with an HHI World Championship Tag-Team Belt with no requirement for a Title defense until HHI's 20th Anniversary Games on September 3. 

So while staying in town for the 3P (Poletti Pool Party), stopped in to check on Magnum (while there shot some hoops at the Mag-Arena) as he had texted Swoop that he was "vomiting diarrhea", although at the time he was at the drug store trying to decide on which anti-diarrhea medicine to buy.  Then on to the Poletti's for 3P set-up & a B&B shower.  Since the Hostess with the Mostest Diane-dretti was so efficient with organizing our set-up, we were done with plenty of time to spare which Steve [a.k.a. The Figurehead Boss with the Apple Sauce (& Brats)] & I spent driving her crazy by checking & belaboring over every WEATHER FORECAST we could find on the PC & i-Phone (a sign of the times was that we never turned on the TV to check The WEATHER Channel).  All of which were providing very different FORECASTS of the WEATHER for the 3P.

Then After all that WEATHER belaboring, the 3P WEATHER for the day & night Thankfully turned out be-a-u-tifully.  The usual cast of characters (& they are truly characters) were there to enjoy it all together & I bring to you some of the Highlights (feel free to Comment on this Blog with others) in no particular order as I recount them in my scattered brain:

* Speaking of scatter-brained, Brother Craiger was 100% sure that Reitzy had the Poletti's Tent from last year's PSU Road Trip, but as it turned out he was 100% wrong as Ross had it in & brought it to the 3P;

* Ross also brought "pink cap" stories of his triathlon race & impressively considered biking 47 miles to the 3P if Karen could have made it to drive him home (maybe next year);

* Craiger brought a "healthy" alternative to the 3P Grill: the Bacon-Burger-Dog & didn't have to twist Diggetty Doug Bails arm to try it to which Bails responded that it could use cheese;

* We had a new Chef manning the Grillmaster 5000 as Old School Bruce stepped up to sling brats & burgers while Swoop was off playing 3P Volleyball;

* Old School brought Commissioner "Dancing with the Wilson Stars" Collin to the 3P & Da Commish was his usual practical joking self including having Reitzy hide Quick Mike's drink, telling Bails to hurry up & eat his bacon-burger-dog so we could throw him in the pool, and accusing Britty of kicking him under the table;

* As for 3P Volleyball, the majority of 3Pers participated (Pure Carbon Corinne couldn't as she's still on Injured Reserve from last year's 3P Volleyball & Harvard Dad was still MIA) in two different spirited sessions with "Crotch Cry" Poletti "winning" the Gold medal noting Iron Mike & I drawing short straw assignments with the "designated losers" this year;

* Britty & I were psyched to play 3P Volleyball after watching Olympic Beach Volleyball and speaking (typing) of OBV, Amanda White got the "Misty May Dig of the Match" on a Swoop Spike;

* Another Swoop Spike nailed New Neighbor Frank (a.k.a. The Oak Circle Mowing Champion) in the face sending a lasting message on who is the Oak Circle Volleyball Champion;

* New Grandfather Quick Mike was at the 3P without Cool E who was with their grandson and Quick & Iron Mike made the 2nd 3P Volleyball session enjoyable for me with some very nice set-ups (also liked the crafty Lefty serves of LVD--Lebanon Valley Dave) while making our loss look good;

* In other 3P "Olympic" competitions, the Werley-Wongs were the last team standing for the Washers Championship which was marked by tremendous parity as all "countries" won & lost games in group play;

* And in Pool Basketball, which is now probably going to be eliminated as a 3P Olympic sport, the USA (Jack Strap) easily out-shot Spain (Swoop);
* Hockey is no longer an HHI or 3P Olympics sport, but no discussion of Goaltenders I personally know is complete without mention of "Kick Save" Christine Poletti who like me drove an hour to be at the 3P & also recovered her goalie equipment from the Whites (maybe they have that missing table also?) yesterday;

* Bails (who sent his kids to rival Pitt) surprisingly & semi-eloquently argued that PSU/Paterno got screwed regarding which Yours Truly agreed that JoePa was a good man noting he could have had me arrested when he caught me on his game day sideline eating a hoagie to which Reitzy responded "another PSU cover-up";

* If you don't think it was "Too Soon" for Reitzy's joke then tune in for Jeffrey Ross hosting the Roseanne Roast tonight on Comedy Central http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2012/08/05/jeff-ross-dresses-sandusky 

* Sue Reitzy, Mighty Monica, and Kathy Werley-Wong most assuredly advised Poletti & I that we were wrong that Greg Daloisio was in that black-and-white PSU Berks Bathtub Race picture on Facebook (being competitive, Steve & I will probably track down Dal to tell them girls they are Wrong);

* Also seen on Facebook late last night from Karen "Strap" Miller was "Had a great day catching up with friends!" at the 3P as like the Hokey Pokey--that's what it's all about!

On behalf of all 3Pers, our Thanks to The Hostess with the Mostest Diane & the Figurehead Boss with the Apple Sauce (& Brats) Steve/Swoop, as well as the WEATHER controller Mother Nature for a most enjoyable 3P!!!

HHI THRIVING AT near 60 (in HOOPS YEARS)

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

In early September 2012, HHI (Hills Hoops Inc) will be turning 20 which will make it 60 in HOOPS YEARS (also next age milestone for HHI Founding Fathers).  Commissioner Mighty Kerr along with his Deputy Coach Bill have kept the league THRIVING by adding needed new players.  Yesterday morning, the old & the new all showed on a be-a-u-tiful day @ Da Hills.

I'll try to remember all (23) hoopsters the best I can considering I'm now only a "Holiday" Player (this Holiday was the Morton Powder Coatings Reunion Friday Night outside at the Beverly Hills Tavern & Quick Mike's TCFL Championship Party @ High Noon after HHI):

• The Hecking Crew = Captain What the Heck, Everybody Knows Joey (who left early with an injury after being knocked down in Game 1 by that "bully" Magnum), Who Killed Kenny, Diggetty Doug Bales (who "Gutted" out all the games after hurting his knee), Young "Gets to the Rim" Wyo Guy, and Yours Truly Jack Strap
• Junior High = Captain Junior, Swoop, Quick, DMG--Dorf Meister General, and new "Red Shirt" guy (somebody tell the dude it's blue or white)
• Stay Puff Marsh-Mellow Men = Captain Marsh, Nelly Jr, Doc Todd, New Guy Chris, Mohawk Kids Guy, and Magnum (who now needs knee & blisters surgery, but stays at a "Holiday Inn Express" when he visits his Girlfriend Kelly Hogwood in Philly & he also met Bails Mom who stands at 4'11")
• Nelly's Shockies = Captain Wooooh Nelly, Scholesinator, Tony Rhyme-or-Reason, Coach Bill, Mighty Kerr (THX for help remembering teams), and Jiggetty Jon Bailey (Bails nephew)

Round #1 of the Round-Round Robin Goes Hacker Bob-Bob-Bob'in Along Tourney saw Junior High make Quick (& Junior) work of Nelly's Shockies while an epic struggle played out on the other court between the Stay Puff Marsh-Mellow Men & The Hecking Crew.  Finally, and I mean finally Magnum had to decide whether to take away a game-winning deuce opp from Heck or Strap, and he chose to guard Heck and he lost as Jack buried it.

As per HHI tourney tradition, the Stink'in Losers switched courts for Round 2 setting up an intriguing Bailey vs. Bailey head-to-head match-up which was won by the younger & healthier Bails, but the game was won by The Hecking Crew led by Heck's scoring.  Meanwhile in a longer battle Junior High outlasted the Marsh-Mellow Men as Swoop did a good D-job on his tough assignment vs. their Captain.

So the two undefeateds: The Hecking Crew & Junior High then met for the Daily Championship (Note Coach can report on the Stink'in Losers Title if he so chooses).  So after intense negotiations between Junior & Jack Strap--Junior High got their home court but The Hecking Crew got their choice of baskets.  Although it didn't seem like that mattered much as The Hecking Crew played like their namesake Wrecking Crew while dismantling Junior High behind Heck's D and the fastbreaking O of Who Killed Kenny & Young "Get to the Rim" Wyo guy. 

Thus Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap takes an HHI Daily Championship back to West York until he plays again, maybe during July 4 Independence Weekend.  Meanwhile I'll follow along with Mighty Kerr's HHI Reports as HHI continues THRIVING AT near 60 (in B-Ball years old.

GROIN PULLS ARE EXTRA

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

So after last playing HHI on Christmas Eve Morn, "Holiday Jack Strap" (Note tomorrow's Mothers Day) was excited to be back in action this AM at Da new & improved Hills. To avoid car lag (kind of like jet lag without leaving the ground which is fitting for HHI), yours truly spent Friday night at the luxorious Poletti Brickhouse Bed & Breakfast (P3B) which is located high above the Les Portes strip.  The accomodations included lively conversation, a complementary Lime-a-Rita which was tasty, a room with a view of the Iron Mike Estate, and in the morning Swoop makes like The Water Boy and fills your jug for HHI action.

But come Saturday morn--Kerry (who has been keeping me & all in the HHI-know with his weekly Mighty Reports), Iron & I were still the only 3 @ Da Hills at around 8:15 or so and it didn't look like there'd be any HHI games.  And then all of sudden out of nowhere Da Hills Expressway opened up and we had a Bo Derek "10" which unbeknownst to me how, were divided as follows:

• Mighty Goods Globetrotters (MG2) = Mighty Kerr, Boo Pong, Gary US Bonds, Iron Mike, and Quick Mike
• Dorf-Meister Generals (DMG) = Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man, Dr. Todd (not to be confused with Tarzan the Dr. on Survivor this season), Tony Rhyme-or-Reason, Mean Gene (who makes many look like The Hulkster), and Holiday Jack Strap

Game 1 saw Boo Pong taking a page out of the Giant Lipper's (who I'm sure was smiling down from above) book by running deep fastbreak fly patterns.  As it turns out "Insane Boo" is the alter-ego of Usain Bolt.  But while MG2's Boo was sprinting, Tony R-or-R was scoring for the DMG despite Boo announcing at one point that he was "taking over the game".  The guy who really took over the game was Marsh who led the Generals to the "upset" over the Globetrotters who were without Meadowlark Lemon & Curley Neil.

Game #2 was in Quick Mike's words "a f'in train wreck" (expletive abbreviated).  This was HHI basketball at it's "finest": turnovers galore, ugly misses, bonehead plays, and players trash-talking their own teammates with Quick leading the way on that.  Unfortunately on another of Insane Boo's deep fly patterns, he PULLED HIS GROIN which rumor has it (courtesy of Tony R-or-R) that Boo had aggravated it last night after the bars, although he claims to have been with a "Missy" (see more on that below).  Fortunately MG2 had a sub for just this game who I'll call "a Poor Man's Marsh", although that's the same as "a Rich Man's Quick" and MG2 tied the Series as Iron Mike hit the game-winner.

So it all came down to the Daily Championship (DC) game.  MG2 had some momentum heading into it, but it got lost with their Sub leaving and Boo & Quick hobbling.  Thus the Dorf-Meister Generals captured the coveted DC.

Holiday Jack Strap will turn the keyboard back over to Mighty until June 9 when I return with the Holiday being the TCFL Championship Party at Quick Mike's house in Da Hills shortly after HHI's games (he requires that all take a shower in between).  Everyone's invited & QM announced his preliminary menu: one bag of chips, one bag of pretzels, and although he initially said guests could get water from the hose out back--he changed that to the sink inside.  

Speaking of sinks (& this deserves it's own paragraph), VP Boo told us about one of his Titanic-era tenants who called him over to fix a leaky faucet.  When Boo arrived he found that it was just because she couldn't turn the handle far enough due to her arthritis, so he easily remedied the problem and she tipped him 50 cents (note this was a great tip in the depression era).  But ("wait for it" as Barney Stinson says) there's no truth to the rumor that he told "Missy" that GROIN PULLS ARE EXTRA.         

MEGA TITLES WERE ON THE LINE

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

MEGA TITLES WERE ON THE LINE this AM which is why I set an alarm & dragged myself out of bed at the crack of dawn & drove 100+ miles or about 2 hours round-trip to play HHI.  Those TITLES included the traditional Daily Championship (DC) & Iron Man Finale (IMF) TITLE, as well as the DC/IMF having always been good predictors of who will win the TCFL Super Bowl (i.e. Yours Truly's Legion Of Doom vs. Quick Raiders) and the Survivor Pool (i.e. Magnum vs. Coach's Protege).  Those MEGA TITLES ON THE LINE create a lot of pressure, but not if you compare it to My Cousin Vinnie:
Vinny Gambini: Lisa, I don't need this. I swear to God, I do not need this right now, okay? I've got a judge that's just aching to throw me in jail. An idiot who wants to fight me for two hundred dollars. Slaughtered pigs. Giant loud whistles. I ain't slept in five days. I got no money, a dress code problem, and a little murder case which, in the balance, holds the lives of two innocent kids. Not to mention your [taps his foot] biological clock - my career, your life, our marriage, and let me see, what else can we pile on? Is there any more stuff we can pile on to the top of the outcome of this case?  

After all my years driving up-and-down Rts. 222 & 30, I'd have to say this AM might be the least traffic I've ever seen or to put it into verse: 
Twas the Morn before Christmas
And all through the Roads
Not Many were Stirring
Not Even the Cops
Thankfully as I made it to Grace in 55 minutes flat as the 1st to arrive.

By the time all the "stockings were hung by the chimney with care", we had a dozen (12) players divided up by Coach Bill & Jack "Santa" Strap for this Tag-Team TITLE Match:
* Road Warriors a.k.a. Your Legion Of Doom (RW-LOD) = Captain Jack (won't get you high tonight), Magnum, Iron Mike, DeBendable Tim, Mighty Kerr, and Marsh-mellow Man
* Quick Coachers (QCers) = Coach Bill, Quick Mike, DJ Jazzy Jones, Doc Todd, Alan "The Question" I-Vath-son, and Diggetty Doug (D.D.) Bails

Game 1 saw the Quick Coachers jump out to an early leader as RW-LOD's DeBendable wasn't impressing his Boss Iron Mike nor playing like he did "back in the day" in the old Flying Hills League.  By the time the QCers had extended that lead to 14-6 behind Quick Mike's dead-eye deuce shooting, rather than subbing Road Warrior Magnum said "play it out" which somehow motivated his team as they went on a 5-0 run before sucumbing (with the emphasis on "suc") to the Quick Coachers.

Game #2 saw a different Road Warriors team as they shook off their "car lag" and jumped to a 5-0 lead.  DeBendable was now playing so well he asked Iron Mike for "that approval" and his Boss was hitting shots from his g-spot.  Swoop arrived with good cheer as he awaits his upcoming knee surgery and saw Marsh mellowly sink a deuce to tie the series for RW-LOD.

With the DC TITLE ON THE LINE, Game 3 was a nail-biter which eventually saw the Quick Coachers take a 12-11 lead.  But then Jack Strap left his wing man Coach to stop Vath who was driving for an easy basket, but The Question had The Answer as he found Coach who made his only basket of the day a big duece which led to their DC TITLE.

The Quick Coachers also took the IMF TITLE, so if you believe the DC/IMF as Predictors of the TCFL Super Bowl & the Survivor Pool then Quick Mike & Coach's Protege will sweep those too.

HHI BACK & BETTER THAN EVER

After a few weeks without enough players, HHI is BACK & BETTER THAN EVER judging by Mighty Kerr's Report below:

Just got my power back on at the house.  So here's my belated HHI report. 

On a snowy morning, we had 11 players at Grace for HHI.  Considering the weather forecast, that was a great showing.  Iron Mike and Alan Vath selected the following teams:

Vath's Vandals - Vath, Marsch, Scholesy, Phil Weller and Mighty
IronMen - Swoop, Iron, Bails, Dr. Todd, Gary, and Quick

It was good to see knee-scab Phil return to action.  His boxing out was in mid-season form, just ask Dr. Todd.

Quick remained as sub for the Ironmen as he was dealing with a stiff back.  However he did receive some between game back-stretching from Dr. Vinnie Boom-Bah (aka Swoop).  We really could have used former HHI chiropractor, Vinny the Body, today as Mighty's back was also bothering him.

Game 1 went to the Vandals 15-12.  Game 2 also went the Vandal's way.  A combination of hot shooting by Scholesy along with the usual stellar play of Marsch and hustle of Vath lead to the first 2 wins.  But the Ironmen came back to take Game 3.


Then we looked at the clock and it was only 9:30 so for the first time in weeks we played an ironman game.  Led by some 3-point shooting by Swoop, Quick and Gary, the Ironmen also took Game 4.  With the series tied at 2-2, and with the snow piling up outside, everyone decided to go for a winner take all championship game.

The competitive juices were definitely flowing and it was a hard-fought game with some good, tough defense being played (unlike the Harlem Wizards according to Marsch, who he burned for 6 points).  It was 14-13 for several series up and down the court.  Finally Vath buried the game winner to take the DC.

So everyone went home tired and ready to shovel this freak snowstorm.

Looking forward to better weather next weekend and some more hoops action.

Mighty