ALL IN FOR THE PPT

By Your Poker & RfL Supporter--Jack Strap

It wasn't exactly the World Series of Poker, but PSU/HHI's Highest Rollers were ALL IN FOR THE PPT [Poletti Poker Tourney]. With Johnny Chan & F'in Ross backing out at the 11th Hour--a little luster appeared to be gone from the PPT, but in a major coup d'etat--PPT Officials were able to bring in the legendary Guido-Meister at the 12th Hour. So the stage was still well set for ALL IN Action with these PPT 2x7 tables:
* For Bet-ter or Worse = Quick Mike, Cool E, Magnum, Pat's Stakes, Scholesinator, Giant Lipper & His Friend who Stole Bails' Girlfriend in High School
* Blind Mens' Bluff = Iron Mike, Bet'in Bowers, Swoop, Guido-Meister, MoneyMaker (MM) Bails, Mighty Kerr, and Your Poker Supporter--Jack Strap

The Blind Mens' Bluff saw the 1st casualty as the table took advantage of Swoop's "tell" which was bluff betting with his left hand--resulting in being ALL IN & Out. Quick Mike then hit the Loser's Lounge as his Betting was evidently Worst at the other table, followed out by my favorite player at their table--Cool E & Bails' least favorite player who had gone ALL IN to take his High School Girlfriend, but could not duplicate that at the PPT. On the Blind Mens' Bluff side, Bet'in Bowers was the 2nd to be eliminated, followed much later by Mighty Kerr who survived a couple of ALL IN's before his luck ran out.

So it was down to the Final 4 at each table or 8 Total, although only 6 (Max) could advance to the ALL IN FOR THE PPT Championship Table. Magnum then "fouled out" For Bet-ter or Worse & in an amazing Blind Mens' Bluff play--MoneyMaker Bails wiped out both Iron Mike & Guido-Meister. So it was only a Fantastic 5 Finale with Scholesy, Pat's Stakes & Lipper joining MM Bails & Jack Strap at the ALL IN FOR THE PPT Championship Table.

From there--Lipper made some good plays, but did not have enough chip power to stay ALL IN the game. Then the once heavily chipped Scholesy was de-chipped by the long-range betting of Jack Strap and even longer-range chip shots of Pat's Stakes. In the Final 3--Pat Stakes were looking real good for awhile, but the Blind Mens' Bluffers finally double team trapped him at half-court(table) & took him out.

So then there were (2) with Jack Strap's Wall Of White Out (WOWO) looking strong, although not as strong as MM Bails' Green Chips Machine (GCM). Your Poker Supporter made his Big ALL IN Play FOR THE PPT and at the Turn it looked like a Big Turning Point in the game with two pairs--Kings & 7's. But then Jack Strap Drowned in the River as MoneyMaker (MM) Bails got a 2nd "6" to go along with his Aces for the Poletti Poker Tourney (PPT) Championship signified by the Bragging Rights Plaque (BRP).

So in the final analysis--it was a fun & exciting event that raised atleast $280 for our Poletti Family & Friends Relay for Life Team, and Thanks to our RfL Captain Diane-dretti Poletti for Hostessing this ALL IN FOR THE PPT extravaganza.

SHOT MEMORIAL TOURNEY

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It's all downhill for Scott the SHOT as he hits 40 on Tuesday, so HHI mourned this event with the SHOT MEMORIAL TOURNEY. HHI's Commissioner Collin thought about making this a wheelchair game in SHOT's honor, but decided this was not necessary since all the current HHIers play much younger than their ages. Those current HHIers divided up into these SHOT MEMORIAL TOURNEY franchises:
* Pass with Kerr (Not to be confused with Shoot with SHOT) = Captain Mighty, Old School, Swoop, Magnum & M2
* Mr. Cleans = Captain Rader (who went from Johnny Cash the other week to Mr. Clean today), Scholesinator, Gary US Bonds, Stiff Rich, and Iron Mike
* Dollar Bills = Coach Bill, Quick Mike, Diggetty Doug Bales, Pat's Steak & Bake, and Smoker Bob (84 Days Smoke-Free & counting)

Round 1 started with Mr. Cleans washing the dollar bills in Dollar Bills pockets and better yet--getting the win. Pass with Kerr then ran their Good SHOT Only offense to perfection in defeating Mr. Cleans. Finally, Pat's "almost half-court" deuce gave Dollar Bills a dramatic 7-6 win over Pass with Kerr to even all squads at 1-1.

The Round 2 opener saw Dollar Bills carrying over their momentum to Clean the clocks (SHOT clocks?) of Mr. Cleans. Then Pass with Kerr defeated Mr. Cleans on a Swoop SHOT setting up the Daily Championship Game: Pass with Kerr vs. Dollar Bills. That game was tied at 6 when Quick went All In with his Dollar Bills (getting ready for the Poletti Poker TOURNEY tonight) and hit the SHOT MEMORIAL TOURNEY DC-winning SHOT.

The SHOT MEMORIAL TOURNEY Iron Man Finale (IMF) was all about getting up SHOTS like Scott who may not be able to get it up when he hits the Big 4-0. Note that Mia Mary has reportedly set-up a Pfizer Birthday Gift Registry for Scott the SHOT, so please send him Viagra.

NBA-HHI ALL STAR WEEKEND

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

With HHI's Commissioner Collin probably off helping the NBA's David Stern with his ALL STAR WEEKEND, HHI was Commish-less but played on. Following the NBA's Rookies vs. Sophomores game where the Other A.I. walked away with the MVP, HHI's ALL STAR WEEKEND featured the Seniors vs. the Old Timers as follows:
Seniors = Captain Iron Mike, Swoop, Quick Mike, What the Heck, Gary US Bonds, and Big Bob who should be applauded by one & all for 77 days Smoke-Free {Applause}
* Old-Timers = Captain Bank'in, Magnum Mike, Mighty Kerr, Scholesinator, SRBA "J", and Miller [M2] Madness
* Unlucky 13th Rover = Stiff Rich

Game 1's scoring started slowly like a World Cup soccer game with the teams tied at 0-0 after about 10 minutes of ugly inaction. But then the Seniors evidently put on their glasses & started finding the basket while jumping to a 5-0 lead and never looked back in a relatively easy win.

Game 2 was not so easy for the Seniors as "J" restored the good Dr.'s ALL STAR name, which had been tarnished when that Old-Timer was recently picked after all of the 7 Dwarfs (i.e. I'll take Doc, not you--that Doc), as he (i.e. "J") hit some very nice shots. But he did not get enough help from his Old-Timers' friends and the Seniors prevailed again led by the Heck-Quick (Charles Barkley-Bob Cousy) connection for the HHI ALL STAR WEEKEND Daily Championship.

Game 3 was HHI ALL STAR WEEKEND's Iron Man Finale (IMF) to 21 for Pride. This game saw Old-Timer Magnum ironically (because he's a SVHS fan) making like the Wilson Bulldogs in last night's Berks County Championship Game vs. Central Catholic (and I'd be remiss if I did not mention the Wilson Girls County Championship win over SVHS). After struggling with his shooting for 2-1/2 games (Wilson cold for 3 quarters), Magnum sank three (3) ALL STAR deuces down the stretch (Wilson hot in 4th quarter), but unlike Wilson--his deuce at "the buzzer" was an IMF game-winner for Old-Timers Pride.

NBA ALL STAR WEEKEND continues tonight with the Slam Dunk Contest and there is a rumor that Commissioner Collin got HHI's "The Shot" entered because anyone who has ever heard Scott (but not necessarily seen) knows he can Dunk (even if he is approaching the ripe old age of 40). And when The Commish finds out about Magnum's aforementioned long-range display, he may get him into the NBA's 3-point shooting contest.

HHI GAMBLING RING?

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Inquiring minds want to know--is there an HHI GAMBLING RING like the NHL GAMBLING RING? No Way and I'm going to tell you why. It's all about leadership integrity at the top of the organ-I-zation (as they say in Canada, eh) and while the NHL has Gary "Place Your" Bet-mann, HHI is lucky to have Commissioner Collin. Our Commish was there again today patrolling all areas to assure there are No HHI improprieties and overseeing the draft that created these virtual franchises:
* Tocchet's Rockets = Magnum & Quick Mikes, Scholesinator, Smoker Bob (70 Days Smoke-Free & counting), Stiff Rich, and Coach Bill
* Keeping Up with the (Janet) Joneses = Iron Mike, Swoop, Old School Bruce, Mighty Kerr, SRBA "J", and Captain M2

Game 1 saw Tocchet's Rockets blasting off majestically and Keeping Up could not keep up as they were left in the rocket fumes of a 15-6 loss.

Not even Janet Jones herself was betting on Keeping Up with the (Janet) Joneses in Game 2, but they defied the odds. The game was a toss-up heading down the stretch when Janet allegedly paged Quick to see if she could get some late action from him since the "Great One" was with Team Canada. That's betting action lest anyone (i.e. Cool E) think otherwise, but the HHI GAMBLING windows were (of course) non-existent. Then with Keeping Up up 14-13, Coach Bill quick-released in the game-winning 2-ball for Tocchet's Rockets.

Game 3 was also very close, but this time it was Keeping Up with the (Janet) Joneses' Captain Miller who swished in the deuce for their nail-biting victory. But Tocchet's Rockets ran-away with Game 4 for the Daily Championship as Swoop was suffering thru the worst shooting day of his illustrious career.

SUPER SATURDAY

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Tired of all the SUPER Bowl Sunday hype? I thought so, that's why HHI brings you SUPER SATURDAY. Not only was there No hype whatsoever leading up to SUPER SATURDAY, but we didn't even know who would show up until we got there. As it turned out, (14) showed up & were split as follows by Captains M2 & Swoop:
* A Flock of Seahawks = Mighty Kerr, Bank'in Bowers, Magnum, What the Heck, Old School Bruce, Pat's Steak & Bake, and Captain M2
* Liars/Cheaters Steelers = Iron Mike, Quick Mike, Scholesinator, Big Bob (Smokeless 63 days & counting), Follow the Bouncing Ball Brett, Stiff Rich, and Captain Swoop

Commissioner Collin kicked off SUPER SATURDAY with a football kick-off that was shades of Smokeless Ben Dato, then Game 1 saw A Flock of Seahawks flying high in formation early on. But the Liars/Cheaters Steelers made a run before A Flock ran, they ran all the way, they ran & got the payday (i.e. victory). In the post-game, A Flock's Old School "boasted" and I paraphrase: "I ran so far away that Young Brett had to get away to rest at SVHS basketball practice." Remember Bruce, as Geoge Constanza said--if you believe it, it's not a lie.

Game 2 saw the Liars/Cheaters Steelers jump to an early lead while Da Beef Brothers (Heck & Magnum) were waying down the bench, but A Flock of Seahawks made the obligatory comeback to make it interesting before the L/C Steelers held on late to tie the series at one game a piece. But Game #3 turned out to be anti-climatic (like alot of past SUPER Bowls) as A Flock of Seahawks registered a blowout SUPER SATURDAY Daily Championship win.

That just left time for a SUPER SATURDAY mini-Iron Man Finale which was a timed game to 10am with the Reading Rage's mini-soccer ankle biters on deck. This game was also won by A Flock of Seagulls as Heck scored on the curl play in the final minute for the 9-8 lead and the L/C Steelers could not convert in the final seconds. Quick then claimed it was an 8-8 tie, so again as George Constanza said--if he believes it, it's not a Lie (a Cheat or a Steelers win).