HHI DRAFT COMEBACK

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Reggie Bush was Not the #1 pick in the HHI DRAFT out at Da Hills, but all of these players were DRAFTED:
* Just Mikes = Captain Magnum Mike, Iron Mike, Quick Mike, Young Mike, and Swoop Mike
* I'm From The City = Captain Six Kids Chris (aka "the little man"), Scholesinator, Coach Bill, Carrot-Top, Mighty Kerr, and Miller {M2} Madness

As Six (6) Kids noted, I'm From The City was afraid of nobody and in particular Just Mikes as "The City" jumped out to a 7-0 Game #1 lead. But Just Mikes made a nice COMEBACK to close to within 8-7. Then I'm From The City CAMEBACK to jump ahead again to a seemingly insurmountable 14-9 lead. But But Just Mikes just CAMEBACK again for a semi-miraculous 15-14 victory.

Before Game #2, Follow the Bouncing Ball--Brett Gaul was selected in the HHI Supple-mental patient DRAFT by I'm From The City who then signed Brett after clearing salary cap space by dealing Mighty to Just Mikes (he was then renamed Mighty Mike). Sparked by Brett, I'm From The City them clinically jumped to a 10-0 lead before Just Mikes COMEBACK sparked by Mighty Mike. In this amazing COMEBACK, Just Mikes scored 15 of the next 17 points for a miraculous COMEBACK win and the Daily Championship.

Coach, Scholesy, and Iron then departed and the remaining (9) players embarked on a classic Iron Man Finale (IMF) journey at the sun-soaked Hills. It was vintage ugly, white man's (and one Puerto Rican) basketball & when it was thankfully over--I'm From The City prevailed for the IMF Title.

Tomorrow we expect all HHIers will support the Relay for Life cause by bringing their vehicles to Reinsel's offices in Spring Ridge (across the way from Broadcasting Square) for a good wash. The fund-raising event will run from about 11am to maybe 3pm.

BACK-BREAKING OR BROKE-BACKING?

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Commissioner Collin delegated decision-making to HHI Weatherman "Psunami Swoop" who declared that it was a perfect day for INdoor basketball @ Ozzies. Following that, HHI Founding Father--Knee Scab Phil (KSP) decided that he had waited long enough for the macadam diving season outside and just made his long-awaited return inside. Today's Coaches for the HHI Draft selected these virtual franchises without any input from Mel Kiper:
* Drunken-Millers = Coach Miller, Knee Scab Phil (KSP), Big Bob, What the Heck, and The Mighty Kerr
* Hayden Foxes = Coach Coach, Quick Mike, Swoop, Iron Mike, and Magnum Mike
* 11th Man Rover = Stiff Rich

Game 1 saw KSP as the Drunken-Millers' linchpin as they put on a clinic while laying a BACK-BREAKING 15-6 beatdown of epic proportions on the Hayden Foxes who played like Luther & Dobber were in charge.

The Hayden Foxes bounced BACK in Game 2 to take an early lead with some nifty deuce-shooting while the Drunken-Millers appeared to have chugged the "we're great" cool-aid between games. The D-M's did finally wake-up & drink the coffee which caffeined them to the culmination of victory with a BACK-BREAKING M2 2-ball putting them up 14-11. But the Hayden Foxes battled BACK to tie it at 14 as Swoop wanted this game so bad he could Taste it--If he could actually Taste (payback for Reitzy for 1-ball jokes). The D-M's then crashed the boards to try to finish it, but Magnum's tip-out led to Swoop's HF-winning fast-BACK-BREAK layup.

With the series tied, the Hayden Foxes strategized for Game 3 and came up with a BROKE-BACKING Defense with Magnum setting the tone early by riding Phil like a one-trick pony. From there, the distracted Drunken-Millers were paranoidly watching their BACKS while the Hayden Foxes BACK-BREAKINGLY scored (baskets that is) from the front to win the BROKE-BACK Daily Championship.

The Iron Man Finale (IMF) then finished things like they started in the 1st game with a Drunken-Millers big 10-4 @ 10am victory. As for next Saturday, it will either be outside at Da Hills @ 9am or inside at Ozzies @ 8am (check your email again by Friday).

CLASSIC CAPTAINS RIVALRY REMATCH

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It was a CLASSIC CAPTAINS RIVALRY REMATCH today @ Ozzies pitting Quick Mike vs. Scott the Shot as follows:
* Scott's Shots = Scholesinator, Old School Bruce, Gary US Bonds, Mighty Kerr, M2, and Scott the Shot
* Quick's Picks = Swoop, Iron Mike, What the Heck, Big Bob, DD Bales, and Quick Mike
* Unlucky 13th Petting Man = Stiff Rich

Hopefully you'll be able to read this report as several had trouble reading yesterday's "Thank God It's Good Friday" Blog posting? Game 1 today !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*().

Game 2 )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@!.

Game 3 !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() !@#$%^&*() )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! )(*&^%$#@! for the Daily Championship.

The Iron Man Finale saw Scott hitting (4) deuce Shots in leading his hand-picked team to the CLASSIC CAPTAINS RIVALRY REMATCH IMF Title before heading back to Chicago where offense calls fouls. Just before Scott's game-winner, his CLASSIC RIVAL Quick Mike was "proving" to Commissioner Collin that he was not a Baby by throwing water on The Commish (& you thought Bud Selig has problem children to deal with).

THANK GOD IT'S GOOD FRIDAY

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

THANK GOD IT'S GOOD FRIDAY, so HHI could finally get back to action at Da Hills with cooperation from Mother Nature. Also THANK GOD IT'S GOOD FRIDAY, so we could pick-up some of our "Holiday" players including Big Billy Boy Babe Ruth (B4R=Q) & Ian Rocks, as well as a visit from Scott the Shot from the Windy City. Speaking of The Shot, here was his team:
* You (Not) So Big = Shanghai Scott, B4R=Q, Ian Rocks, Scholesinator, and the debut of the LRP's Mifflin Tim Yanu... (note his last name is too long to type as I'm on a tight time budget).

The other squad did Not include Lender-Bender-Over, although his Ball was there courtesy of it's new owner Swoop (i.e. possession is 9/10 of the law). There was also a Quick Mike Ball in attendance, although not The QM Ball (as there was some story about that's only an inside Ball?). And the "Game Ball!" (reference "The Longest Yard I") was FU Frank FM's Ball which was best used by this team:
* Whose Got Big Balls = Quick, FUn, Swoop, Magnum & Miller [M2] Madness

Game 1 started with Scott the Shot immediately complaining about the Ball--followed by the unforgiving rims, missing net, and Magnum's fouling. Meanwhile Whose Got Big Balls was Not having any problems with any of those things as they jumped to a big early lead. You So Big did make the obligatory comeback led by the Big play inside of Mifflin Tim Yanu and a Big-time Pass from Scott the Shot (yes, you read that right), But at the end (no pun intended) like Suzy Wong said to Scott in Shanghai: You Not So Big when compared to the Quick-torious Whose Got Big Balls.

Game 2 was a microcosm of Game 1 and/or was it deja vu all over again? We'll leave that choice up to you, but what I can tell you is that Whose Got Big Balls had the Biggest Balls Of All (reference AC-DC for you non-rockers) as they took home the THANK GOD IT'S GOOD FRIDAY Daily Championship.

The Iron Man Finale (IMF) was a bit of a contradiction in terms as the game was to 7 straight, Magnum left with blisters, and FUn took off before B4R=Q could. But that's to take nothing away from You So Big as they easily prevailed 7-2.

HHI returns to action tomorrow @ 8am @ Ozzies and don't forget the new cost is $6.

107.5 (FU)FRANK FM

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

The mystery is over regarding the disappearance of FU FRANK from HHI, he has been off having FUn creating Reading's newest radio station: Classic Rock 107.5 FRANK FM. Also not appearing today at Ozzies was Swoop Poletti who despite having his seatback upright & his tray table in the locked position--could not fly out of Chicago. And with Magnum injured and Old School gone too, HHI was Commissioner Collin-less & down to (9) players who split as follows:
* 107-5 = Mighty Kerr, Big Bob, Iron Mike, Stiff Rich, and Coach Bill
* FM-4 = Steve-Roller What the Heck, Quick Mike, Scholesinator, and M2

The 1st & 2nd halves of Game 1 were like "day & night" as the FM-4 lead early with the lights on as 107-5 was not throwing crisp passes despite Smokeless Bob's pleas (he may have gotten better results if he said "please"). Then literally the "Lights Went Out in Georgia" (anybody remember Caddy?) and then 107-5 came back before the FM-4 eked out a 15-14 win.

Game 2 saw crisper passing by 107-5 and very good shooting by both teams with the lights back on. At the end, it was Big Bob taking matters into his own hands with the final tough point in the paint for a 15-13 victory as 107-5 tied the series.

In Game 3, the telepathic play of Quick Mike & What the Heck catalyzed the FM-4 to a big lead. Scholesy followed that up by powering down low for buckets & M2 hit the deuce he promised Swoop as the FM-4 won big 15-7.

If the 107-5 had any visons of tying the series in Game 4, they quickly turned into delusions of grandeur as the FM-4 was clicking on all cylinders and prevailed easily again to take home the FRANK FM Daily Championship.

Those last 2 games left Big Bob muttering before he threw in the towel for the Iron Man Finale. With 107-5 minus 1, you might have thought it would be another FM-4 romp, but if so--then you thought wrong. After their IMF win, somebody said the 107-5 key to victory was cutting out the (lung) cancer.

DON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It was April FOOLS Day and Commissioner Collin FOOLED everyone by bringing more buses than there were players to choose from for Captains Mighty & Coach. The Perfect 10 FOOLS in attendance were equally divided as follows:
* Motley FOOLS = Coach, Swoop, Quick, Stiff & M2
* Mighty FOOLS = Kerr, Old School, Iron, Scholesinator & Big Bob (Smokeless for about 4 Months now)

Game 1 saw the Mighty FOOLS FOOL the Motley FOOLS by completely pulling the wool over their eyes (i.e. they shot like they couldn't see) with Big Bob Bombing in 4 deuces in a 15-7 Mangling of the Motleys. Who said DON'T GET FOOLED AGAIN. Yes--that's right (confused--ask Pete Jump'in Kerr). The Motley FOOLS were determined not to GET FOOLED AGAIN in Game 2 so they changed the kharma in the pre-game with Quick disposing of some unneeded waste & a change to the QM Ball. The result was a Motley FOOLS Mutilation (15-7) of the Mighty FOOLS.

With the FOOLS squads knotted at a game apiece, Commissioner Collin (and he was Not FOOL'in) sanctioned a Best of 3 Series of games to 11 to decide the Daily Championship. Right after that, Big Bob announced that he was pissed. Or in other words, he had no intention of GETTING FOOLED AGAIN. Early on--Double "B" jammed both Swoop's & Stiff's fingers on the same play, (cigarette) but it was not enough to FOOL the unselfish team play of the Motley FOOLS. Then with their backs up against the wall--the Mighty FOOLS played gamely in the next game, but ended up GETTING FOOLED AGAIN as the Motley FOOLS FOOLED everyone by taking home the April FOOLS Daily Championship.

There was not enough time to fully complete the Iron Man Finale because the soccer ankle-biters FOOLED us by showing up this week, but the Mighty FOOLS were not too proud to accept the forfeit win. Then as we were leaving--Ozzie's announced an HHI Price Increase to $6. Now this could have been an April FOOLS joke (i.e. that Gary's a funny guy), but bring $6 to be safe next Saturday, Unless we end up Outside at Da Hills (stay tuned for a Commissioner's decision on that by Friday)--in which case bring a $5 donation for the Relay for Life Fund.