REMEMBRANCE

By Your Athletic Suppoter, Jack Strap

It is a day of REMEMBRANCE across this great nation and it was no different at HHI as 18 players showed up in REMEMBRANCE of those who have played before & with them over the years (more on that later). Also it was REMEMBRANCE that caused Jerry Wojo-Mojo to clean-up the courts for HHI action today after Saturday's REMEMBRANCE Parade (although Scholesy had to move a trash can off the court and there were some non-Big Bob remains on the court). As for Big Bob, he had REMEMBRANCE back to his nasty scrapes last week after hitting the court again this AM, courtesy of Iron's "tripping" feet.

My REMEMBRANCE is that Quick's "I'm the Oldest & Shortest" Team including Steve-Roller What the Heck, Who Killed Kenny & Diggetty Doug Bales won the REMEMBRANCE Daily Championship. Also as I REMEMBRANCE it, these Hoopsters were in action today: World B. Fri-to Ski (who will be moving to Houston to tell the Texans how stupid they were for Not drafting Reggie Bush), Sargent Carter, Chris Shie-ry the Science Guy-ry, Coach Bill (my REMEMBRANCE is that he was OO for ??? from deuce-land), Sheriff Hacker Chinese Beer Bob, Pistol Pete, Swoop, Big Bob, Miller {M2} Madness, FUn Frank, Scholesinator, Mighty, Iron and Magnum.

And now our REMEMBRANCE for HHIers Not in action today led by our HHI Hall of Famers: Captain Frank, Old School Bruce & Commissioner Collin, Founding Father Reitzy, those who have moved far away: Caddy, Scott the Shot & The Deputy BC, and others as follows (fill-in anyone I left out): Swishie Kurtz, Flyboy Wiz Ozzie Virgil, Stone Cold, Bandana Brother, "It's Like an Assembly Line" Guy, Knee Scab Phil, Bank'in Bowers, Giant Lipper, Brother Craiger, Rubberbandman Sean, Osh-Kosh B'Josh, Alan "The Question" I-Vath-son, Back-Cracker Vinnie the Body, Bender-Over, Johnny B. Pretty Good, Captain America Steve, D.O.-Dave Owens, Drew the Yardsale Broom Man, Chucky Boy Barbera, Hey Suess Sammel, B4R=Q, Dapper Dave, Tim Yanu-Nanu, Energizer Boni, Eric the Head, Eric from Wilson Sunday AM League, UGI Tim, Ian Rocks, Muggsy Raihl, Pat's Steak & Bake, Radon Rader, Sing Along With Mitch, Follow the Bouncing Ball (Brett) Gaul, Adam Bomb, (6) Kids Chris, Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man, Chocolate Moose, Tok-Yo Joe, and Say It Ain't So Joe . Also REMEMBRANCE of those from the SRBA (Stiff Rich Basketball Amalgamation) who have crossed over to HHI including Stiff Rich, SRBA "J", Junior High, Woooooh Nelly, Paul Sprewell Sprockett, Big Dog Dave, The Professor (Not the And-1 white guy), Carrot Top, The Rock, The Mighty Quinn/M.C. Dribble/The Dribbing Fool, Tatoo Pierce, and The "Good & Bad" Jeffs.

HHI returns to action with any and all of the above on Saturday @ Da Hills @ 8am.

SWELEVEN @ OZ-RENA

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

SWELEVEN (i.e. Sweaty Eleven) were in action @ the air condition-less OZ-RENA (i.e. Ozzies Arena) with Bank'in Bowers & Coach Bill creating these virtual franchises:
* Bowers Towers of Power (B-ToP) = Big Bob, Magnum, Miller {M2} Madness, Quick Mike, and Bank'in
* Coaches Roaches of Noches (C-RoN) = Swoop, Scholesinator. What the Heck, Iron Mike, and Coach
* 11th Man Rover = Mighty Kerr

Game 1 demonstrated that these Teams were well-picked by the Captains and thus evenly matched. It was tight thru out, but M2 looked like a hero when he hit a deuce to put B-ToP up 14-13, but C-RoN (not to be confused with Enron) tied it & M2 then turned to goat as his pass was picked off by What the Heck for an easy game-winning lay-up for C-RoN.

Game 2 saw tightening Defenses forcing turnovers as neither team could create much of a lead. A highlight was a driving Magnum scoop shot that he has been working on for years and now converting on. The squads sweated thru another battle of attrition and were deadlocked at 13-13 (Mockingbird Lane) when M2 redeemed himself with a series-tying deuce for B-ToP.

Heck opened the OZ-garage door for Game #3, letting in some air which was then taken away by the squad's suffocating defenses (sounds much better than incompetent offenses) . Once again they found themselves deadlocked at 13 before Swoop converted inside & Heck outside for C-RoN's Daily Championship.

Only Bank'in departed for the Iron Man Finale which saw the Roving Mighty Kerr showing his determination to get his 1st win by going coast-to-coast to score on Heck and ultimately Big Bob's shot gave Mighty & B-ToP the IMF Title.

HHI returns to action on Memorial Day Monday @ Da Hills @ 9am, assuming Jerry Wojo-Mojo has the courts cleared after today's Wyomissing Parade.

CSI SUNDAY

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

There was increasingly rare SUNDAY AM Hoops @ Da Hills with
Quick Mike AWOL.  CSI investigators then called the number
provided to them for Quick and were told by the young guy
answering the phone that Mike was at Basketball. CSI Mighty
then broke the case by concluding that QM has joined the
SRBA--Stiff Rich Basketball Amalgamation.

The SUNDAY Seven Hoopsters there, then split into these squads for
some half-court hoops:
* Three-Peat = Big Bob, Magnum & Swoop
* Quad-Fecta = Mighty, Iron, DD Bales & M2

Game 1 saw Three-Peat & Quad-Fecta battling "tooth & nail" as the
lead changed hands a number of times.  At one point, CSI SUNDAY
investigators found blood on Bob's back that was traced to Mighty
Kerr.  Later in the game, the court turned into a CSI Crime Scene
as loosely reminiscent of Jack & Jill--Bob fell down and
badly scraped his knee/hand, and Magnum & Mighty came tumbling
after.  Now here's what we hope does Not subsequently happen.
If Stiff Rich is found dead at Da Hills today & CSI runs the DNA
on the skin still scraped on the court--then CSI SUNDAY
will have Big Bob at the crime scene with well-documented motive
and no cigarettes to trade for jail favors.

So with Big Bob on I/R, Game 1 was suspended & re-started from
scratch with these Teams:
* RfL Night Crawlers = Swoop, Mighty & M2
* Bed & Breakfast = Magnum, Iron & Bales

Game 1 saw B & B and the Night Crawlers battling "tooth & nail" as
the lead changed hands a number of times (deja-vu all over again).
But down the stretch, Bed & Breakfast used a burst of energy to
take a 14-9 lead before RfL-NC showed stamina in coming back (aided
by a good ref call by Bob "Yogi" Strom) to 14-13 before Iron
finished the B & B victory.

In the Iron Man Finale, the Relay for Life-Night Crawlers showed
good stamina in taking a big early lead, resiliently withstanding a
B & B run, and then finishing them off impressively in a 11-6
IMF win.

Next weekend's schedule will include Saturday @ 8am @ Ozzies.  This
is because "Da Hills" Memorial Parade is Saturday.  Then HHI will
return to Da Hills for Memorial Monday games @ 9am.  By copy on
this, I will ask the Chairman of the Board of the Wyomissing
Parade--Jerry W. to assure the Da Hills courts are ready
for action by Monday @ 9am.  If he chooses not to--then we will
hand over his address to "Puggsley" in which case CSI will be
returning to Da Hills.

Not Better or Worse, But Different RfL Experience

By Your Relay for Life Supporter, Jack Strap

In my mind (twisted as it may be)--it was Not Better or Worse, But a Different Relay for Life (RfL) Experience this year for Team Poletti Family & Friends. Last year, I felt much more consumed by the emotions of the currentness (and that is a word per dictionary.com) of Diane's really scary fight with breast cancer. We also were kept off-guard not knowing the RfL schedule or protocol. In addition, I felt our Team was much more insular--largely keeping to ourselves with our "Iron Mike" conveniences: generator, heating element, TV/movies. And we felt a bit of us vs. them when the Powers To Be (led by Les is More) shutdown our modern conveniences and there was an edge to the RfL competitions.

This year I could experience the emotions in more manageable chunks (and I'm not referring to the All Stars--TCFL joke) like Diane's Survivor Walk, rather than in an all consuming way. We knew the schedule & protocol & that the modern conveniences were banned upfront, also making it easier to deal well with it all. We also had made some very good additions to the Team including reconnecting with Jerry & Alexa (and I want to commend her for doing a particularly good job with fund-raising with more on that later), Brother Craiger, Quick Mike & the Giant (long, long past belligerent) Lipper. My wife Karen was also much more involved this year including fund-raising (I think she was the #2 raffle ticket seller), baking (mudslide cookies, blueberry muffins), and walking (i.e. Relaying with me, Alexa, etc).

We had a great visit from newly enshrined HHI Hall of Famers: Old School Bruce & Commissioner Collin (with his chick magnet Caddy Escalade Car--Not a Jeep D-A-D). And also again this year--enjoyed seeing The Wongs (note that "somebody" changed Harry's $10 silent auction bid on a $120 minimum bid item to $1000) and HHIer Pistol Pete. We also had many more, really good interactions with other Teams, the new MC, and the returning from Nova Scotia--Les Is More.

The competitions started with the Tug-Of-War. We were cocky after sizing up the competition and our Team was so large that they split us into Poletti I (the older folks like me) and Poletti II (mostly young with nurturing mother figures: Diane & Alexa)--then matched us in Round 1. Almost immediately after the Round 1 whistle, Poletti II yanked Poletti I over the line & flat on to our backs (except Anchorman Magnum who contends he was not moved at all?). This was a humbling & discombobulating (good word) experience and the crowd luv'd it. There are some on Poletti I who will contend that Poletti II had 15 tuggers to our 8, but many of us were about double the weight of our counterparts--so it was more even than the numbers appeared. I say we got our butts booted! We did though sportsmanly cheer our Poletti II friends & family on to the Tug-Of-War "Gold Medal".

Even more on the "Tug", which is ironic considering I technically participated in it for all of 2 seconds. There was this cocky kid on one of the Teams who Jerry W. aptly named "Puggsley" and the two of them had a few entertaining exchanges (that kid later tried to steal a "blinky ball" from us, but was thwarted by one of our young couples who did a great job all night in manning our concession stand). Also my guess is that although Lauren "Pole Vault" Poletti & Christene "Kick Save" Poletti went on Saturday to have very good performances at their respective high school events--I think what they will remember most from their competitions this weekend was "booting the butts" of their Dad & his Buddies in the RfL Tug-Of-War.

Thru out the night--we were much more active walking the track this year, as well as also participating & pretty much dominating in "Stat Boy's" Sports Trivia Contests. This was just for fun as the best prize on the table were bananas (which I enjoyed). This was also easier because the weather was a little better this year, and much better (Thank God) than the potential thunderstorms, rain, and hail in the Friday/Saturday forecast.

The main event for us was Volleyball as we were back as the Defending RfL Champions "of The World". At 6am, we easily defeated the Peaceful Pacers before waiting 2 hours to play again due to the odd bracketology schedule. Finally in Round 2, we defeated either Bowmans Church or The Real Bowmans Church (yes they were 2 different Teams) or maybe it was some other Team? Anyway, we won and went on to the Finals against our now pal Les Is More and a pretty good Team that he had assembled. It was a pretty good Championship match, but we prevailed with the Mighty Kerr coming thru on Game Point unlike his namesake: Mighty Casey (who struck out). It was a good balanced Team effort, but I think Swoop & Craiger did a particularly good job serving. Then we took a victory lap, waving to our "adoring" fans & got some waves back, although I sensed mostly of the "mercy wave" variety. "Don Pardo" also had some nice parting gifts for "We Are The Champions" my friend...

Getting back to the American Cancer Society fund-raising, which is really the most important thing in the Relay for Life. Our much more organized efforts led by Captain Diane yielded about $4700 which is about double last year (Unofficially as based on Steve's count and as Diane said "he is financially challenged"). The JoePa Autographed Ball and King of Prussia Mall $500 Shopping Spree were very-very well received in advance & at the RfL event. "The Ball" was won by a very appreciative young guy named Rao (somebody help me with his 1st name?) and the Shopping by one of the Phoenixville Sarnaks.

So all & all, another great "Not Better or Worse, But Different Relay for Life (RfL) Experience". And I'll ask anyone who wants to fill in anything good I missed or was wr-r-r-r-ong about by posting comments to this Blog.

COMMISSIONER COLLIN

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It is with much regret that I announce that COMMISSIONER COLLIN has to step-down as our beloved COMMISH. This coincides with the retirement of Old School Bruce (reference OLD SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER..........story) and they both will be terribly missed, although we hope they will periodically visit HHI.

COMMISSIONER COLLIN took over his position some years back when HHI had alot of problems after the ugly reign of Commissioner Caddy. COLLIN cleaned things up & led HHI to some of the very best times in its dozen+ years history. The COMMISH will always be remembered for his positive attitude, fun-loving nature, and the inspiration he brought to the Hoopsters.

In an unprecedented move, both COMMISSIONER COLLIN & Old School Bruce will be immediately inducted into the HHI Hall of Fame (somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the only other HHI Hall of Famer is Captain Frank). Please join me in Congratulating The COMMISH & Old School on this achievement, and wishing them the very best in all of their future endeavors.

OLD SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER..........

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Everywhere Psunami Swoop traveled this week it was raining, thus he assumed the same for Da Hills, so HHI was inside at Ozzies this AM. Ozzies' Womenopause was cracking down on the $6 Basketball Privilege Tax (BPT), apparently she suspended Magnum, and tried to take out Quick by wet-mopping the floor outside his favorite bathroom (he escaped with a tweaked ankle). With Magnum gone and OLD SCHOOL OUT FOR SUMMER, a Nasty Nine HHIers split into these squads:
* Four Score (& Seven Years Ago) = Steve-Roller What the Heck, Quick Mike, Big Bob, and Coach Bill
* Big 5 Basketball = Mighty Kerr, Iron Mike, Swoop, Chris Shiery the Science Guy-ry (formerly Chris Cross Will Make You Jump-Jump), and Miller {M2} Madness

Game 1 saw Big 5 Basketball playing like their OLD SCHOOL days by working the ball around patiently for the open shot. But they didn't quite make as many as they would have liked and Four Score scored Five Deuces including Three down the stretch in their 15-12 victory.

Four Score could not keep up that shooting pace and Big 5 took control in Game 2 before the arrival of OLD SCHOOL & Commissioner Collin. But their Big 5 momentum was stopped while OLD SCHOOL announced his HHI Retirement upon the order of HHI's Doctor Vinny Boombah. But then something unexpected happened as the dapperly-dressed OLD SCHOOL went "into a nearby phone booth" and came out ready to join Four Score for one last HHI day. OLD SCHOOL then sparked "Five Score" to another win and the Daily Championship.

Game 3 was for pride, but Big 5 Basketball's will appeared to be broken as Five Score poured it on. Big 5 did manage to avoid the story-book ending as OLD SCHOOL could not score the winning hoop, but Five Score won nonetheless on a Big Bob lefty shot. The Iron Man Finale was more of the same as Five Score completed their sweep as OLD SCHOOL put in a nifty reverse lay-up and Heck's flying deuce was the IMF-winner.

As the OLD SCHOOL Retirement Tribute song blared out of the Ozzie's speakers:
OLD SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER
OLD SCHOOL'S OUT FORever
I thought I saw some tears (I know guys, it was sweat in your eyes) as OLD SCHOOL shook everyone's hand for the final time (now I'm crying on my keyboard). Commissioner Collin sensing everyone's distress starting giving out shots of adrenaline (reference Pulp Fiction) with mixed reactions including Swoop going into a convulsive state and Big Bob hyperly calling for yet another game to 15. But that was it as we all wished OLD SCHOOL the best in his HHI Retirement, while now hoping for a medical miracle to bring him back.

SEIS DE MAYO LIMONADE

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It was SEIS DE MAYO & you know what that means. That's right--Yardsales (i.e. eBay's biggest competitor) and Hoops at Da Hills. There was a perfect dozen hoopsters colorically (just invented word) split into these virtual franchises:
* What About Bob = Big Bob, Scholesinator, Quick Mike, Six (6) Kids Chris, Coach Bill, and Whooping Cough Bails
* Baby Steps = Swoop, Iron Mike, What the Heck, Mighty Kerr, Miller {M2} Madness, and Sheriff Hacker Sponge-Bob Square-Pants

Game 1 saw Baby Steps taking baby steps towards victory: Baby Steps--throw a bounce pass; Baby Steps--use a ball fake; Baby Steps--make a lay-up. But they didn't make enough of those baby steps layups to put away What About Bob, instead letting them hang around until Whooping Cough Bails set a Mucous pick--freeing Big Bob to nail a nail-biting victory deuce. What About Big Bob!

In Game 1 and for most of Game 2, What About Bob had used the "Hacker Rules" to shutdown Sheriff Hacker Bob. But Hacker Came Alive (not much like Frampton) down the stretch of Game 2 hitting a couple shots including the game-winner as Baby Steps--tied the series.

The squads battled gamely in the decisive game of the SEIS DE MAYO Daily Championship (DC) Series. It was nip-and-tuck (but Not even plastic surgey could make these guys look good) into the "4th quarter", but then came the obligatory "Hacker Controversy" when the Sheriff hit a deuce or did he? Was his foot on the deuce line before or after the shot? Commissioner Collin was not there (although he did make an earlier guest appearance before jetting off) to decide so Sheriff Hacker Bob made the decision himself and of course it was worth 2. Baby Steps--win the SEIS DE MAYO DC and they did without the help of Dr. Leo Marvin.

That just left the Iron Man Finale (IMF) for everyone except Whooping Cough Bails, Quick Mike, and QM's new Outdoor Ball (which nobody could confuse with his Indoor Ball). The IMF was its usual chuck-and-duck affair with deuces being chucked & defense being ducked until Da Hills Yardsale Kids upped the ante by offering SEIS DE MAYO LIMONADE to the Winners at the expense of the Stink'In Losers. Suddenly the game got very competitive with Swoop ultimately putting away his former Baby Steps mates with a put-back for What About Bob's IMF Title. But then Six (6) Kids showed great sportsmanship by buying everyone some ice cold & tasty LIMONADE.