From: SWOOP
After reviewing this weekends HHI game films and comparing them to
the UNC-Duke game, the league has SUSPENDED me for 2 weeks for a
"flagrant foul" on Bales. I appealed to former Commissioner Collin,
but I was told to "go home". I will return on 3/24 with a score
to settle...
From: DD Bales
Swoop, I know where you live.
From: Quick
I second the motion for the SUSPENSION on Swoop (due to the upper
cut I received from him earlier of which he blamed me for slamming
my mouth into his shoulder!!) but, I'm concerned that the very
flagrant foul of Magnum's on yours truly when he knocked the wind
out of me with a left hook that had no chance or any intention of
going for the ball but only "bad intentions" which resulted in the
wind leaving my body. Even Stevie Wonder would have seen that
intentinal foul! If the Commish is going to make a ruling on
a "Flagrant Foul" SUSPENSION, he should certainly be somewhat
consistent! Don't let the league turn into a thugathon!!!
Stop the insanity!
From: Magnum
9:10AM - Magnum's agent - Chuck Liddell will be holding a press
conference at 12:01PM (that's lunch time not midnight Quick) to
respond to the vicious accusations by Quick Mike. Magnum's agent
expects to provide proof that the sequence of events did not occur
as stated by Mr Quick. In a terse statement, Magnum responded
(in Bill Clinton style), "I did not hit that man with my left arm".
From: Quick
I have to recant my previous statement and agree with Magnum in that
it was a "RIGHT" hook that was flagrantly thrown, not a "left" hook!
I apologize for the confusion but make no mistake, the "attack" was
intended to inflict pain, of which it did and that is what this case
will be about! I have contacted my attorney's Dewey, Screwem & Howe
and they are already providing transcripts to the court. I was
hoping we would not have to go public with this but little "Magpie"
has just raised the bar. Again, if the Commish would just be
consistent with his rulings, we could have kept this within the
confines of HHI and not plastered all over the headlines of the
national news.
Unfortunately, there are some underlying facts that will be
discovered through this legal battlefield that will uncover
"MOTIVE" to his actions. One that comes to mind is Magnum's
retaliation from a statement that I made earlier during warm-ups
when an observation was made concerning a certain, and may I add,
a very feminine move (Heck was an eyewitness and will testify
accordingly of the accuracy of said statement) which he made and I
just innocently made note of. Yes, his face did get red as he
realized the truth! I guess stating the obvious was too embarrassing
for him and he made a mental note to get revenge for what he may
have taken as a ridiculing comment. I was just trying to help
and discourage him from showing that particular "basketball" move
to his son and do any further scarring to Conner's adolescent
development. Obviously, Magnum cannot take constructive criticism!
That being said, I will no longer discuss this in public and you
can refer any questions to my attorneys! Let the truth be told!
From: SWOOP
First let me say that I haven't seen anyone put their body in harms
way as much as Quick since Tex Cobb retired. Second, the thought
of accusing Magnum of a flagrant foul is absurd. I believe only
Mighty committed fewer fouls than Magnum last year. I think the
league should sanction Quick for recklessly running into Magnum's
forearm and my shoulder. The man is a menace.
From: Quick
Okay, obviously your treatments are having an hallucinogenic affect
on reality for you. A word of advice, take the suspension like a
man and we'll see you in two weeks! As far as committing fouls on
the court, you should be as quiet as a church mouse right now and
take your SUSPENSION like it was a sugar cube from the Dr. Previous
to this weekend there were rumors about actually changing your
nickname from "Swoop" to "Hammertime"! Being a "Founding Father",
it would take a monumental vote to reverse your nickname, but
nevertheless, there were whispers. Over the past couple of years,
you and your right hand man, Henchman Magnum, have taken fouling to
a new level! Hacker Bob's nickname might as well change to
"Little Bo-b Peep" compared to you two thugs! Evidently, ever since
the day you sunk your teeth into Magnum's cranium a couple of years
ago, you have found a shared love for inflicting pain on your
opponents! Up until now, we, the innocent villagers, have taken
the pummeling and not gone public with our disdain! Hopefully, this
lawsuit will finally give us the venue to be heard and we can take
action on any future thuggery by the two of you!! For the people.
From: SWOOP
An interesting diatribe coming from the "competitive guy" - as he looks for the weak one in the herd and attacks like a pack animal. We didn't hear a peep from him, before my body was abused by both protons and balloons. Not that I'm one to complain, but after a morning guarding Quick, I end up with bruises all over from his constant "hand checking". I haven't had that many hand prints on my body since I was picked up hitchhiking by the Division II girls cheerleading champions - - but I digress. I will sit out my two weeks, but I refuse to allow my good name to be sullied by some opportunistic thug. You have too many skeletons in your closet, you know you don't want this to got to court.
From: Magnum & his Agent
At 12:01PM - Magnum's agent - Chuck Liddell approached the podium.
Chuck was quoted as saying - "Interesting how the
"sissy man" Quick changed his story. That's right,
Magnum could not have hit him with his left arm. We
all know Magnum is an increbible athelete, (I trained
him myself) but it would be impossible for Magnum
running down the the left side of the court, to hit
him with his left arm from the front ... just
impossible. "Sissyman" Quick is obviously dazed,
unsure of himself, playing scared, not ready to play
with "Prime Time" players as Swoop Poletti and Magnum.
Yes, Sissyman Quick won a few games this past weekend.
He played on the sympathy Magnum, Swoop, Bowers, Coach,
and Gary felt after he faked an injury. The HHI
followers can be certain that won't happen again.
No more sympathy for Sissyman.
From: Quick
Bring it on Magpie!!! Why should anything change? I know I'm the
only one that has come forward to speak out against the abuse you
and Swoop dish out on a play by play basis. If only fouls (6 total)
would count toward game eviction. You and Swoop couldn't even
break a sweat on any one game. You would be holding each others
hands on the sideline commiserating and asking yourselves, why
assault is illegal on the basketball court! Hence we just play on
and at least stop play once and awhile on the obvious fouls that
are called by yourselves. Which are only when there is either
blood drawn or bodies strewn around on the court and even then
you look at us with those ignorant smirks as to say "Duhhhhhhh..
..what happened" Puleeeease!!!!! We are done falling for your
inexcusable behavior. Although, I am the only one voicing my
opinion there are others that choose to not say anything fearing
the wrath of the two of you could actually get worse. We all
shudder at that thought, but I cannot blame anyone for their
silence. We all have families we need to support and would
rather not jeopardize what is important in our lives. Rest
assured, the rest of the HHI members are secretly applauding
the revealing of the atrocities that they have all endured from
time to time.
So bring it Magpie & Swoopie Doo! My attorney's will be watching
and before you know it, I'll be hosting the QPP, (formerly known as
the 3P) at the same address as always, but under new ownership and
in addition, gutting the balance of the former Magpie insurance office,
extending the half-court into a full court gymnasium and possibly
putting a roof over the pool so we can enjoy a dip after a nice clean
(foul free) game of hoops, minus the two of you!!!!
From: Bales
My medical staff ( Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, & Dr. Howard)
are willing to give expert testimony on behalf of
Quick's lawyers, to the unlawful, cheap shot antics
of physical abuse used by some members in the HHI. At
this time, I was told not to name names (You Know Who
You Are) until the lawyers file the complaint. I am
proud to help Mr. Motyl in his quest for truth, justice
and the HHI way.
The Last Word from SWOOP:
I just realized something. With all the clutching,
grabbing, hand checking and reach-ins - when's the last
time Quick called a foul on himself. Now I see where
this is going - he's attacking me and Magnum for our
honesty. This is a smoke screen to cover up his win at
all costs philosophy. After being thrashed in volleyball
in his first year at the 3P, he found something he could
be better at so he brought bocci the following year. By
the end of the picnic the rest of us improved and Quick
was no longer the bocci king. Then last year he built a
washers game in his basement and practiced for months
leading up to the picnic. I'm sure he's already practicing
his new game for this years event. They say animals and
children are the best judges of human beings. That's why
he's known as "the competitive guy" and "baby".And don't
worry, you'll still be invited to the 3P this year - just
make sure you do a good job of skimming and vacuuming.
