TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It was 1988 when the inaugural TCFL Draft was held, thus making this the TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT. The official TCFL Rules which originated in 1988 still say that "The Draft must occur in a pub" and although there is also a loophole that allows exceptions, we went Old School this year with the TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT @ Mulligans Pub. Mulligans set us up in their Outdoor Emporium on a glorious evening for the TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT and assigned us two waitresses--Stacy & Tracy.

It was a surprise & contrary to his Phoenixville tradition that F'In Ross was one of the 1st to arrive along with Double D--Doug DeSimone, although it was no surprise Scholesy was The 1st there with his "consultant" Little Steven. The Miller Brothers/Poletti/Iron Fearsome Foursome arrived next and the others (Reitzy, Quick & The Mightiest Man) followed along. No surprise & consistent with his Phoenixville tradition, Chucky Boy was one of the last to arrive, although dead last was Lipper who is usually the 1st to arrive when the draft is at Reinsel & Co.

While enjoying dinner, Pre-TCFL'S 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT included a lot of interesting proposals that were voted on accompanied by lively debate & witty banter. Some passed & some didn't which Mighty will detail in the TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT "Minutes", but my favorite was Brother Dave's establishment of the Tri-county Invitational Tournament (TIT) for the six (6) Stink'in Losers (i.e. Non-playoff teams) with the Winner of the TIT getting the "nipple" in the form of the #1 Pick in the TCFL's 21st ANNIVERSARY DRAFT. Reitzy went after what's left of protected players with a proposal requiring everyone to only protect whomever they drafted in the 5th round (that's not a typo) which was out-of-the-box but soundly defeated. Protected players were dealt a financial blow when Doug D's "Graduated Pay to Protect" was voted in. Speaking of protected players, this year's TCFL elite consisted of (11) RB's & Peyton Manning.

Then just like that, Reitzy's DiBros were on the clock & wasted little time in selecting RB Joseph "Vick said the dogs must" Addai "if he bets on them & they lose". Lipper's Chunks All Stars then picked RB Travis Henry, evidently impressed by the recent report that he (Travis Henry, not Lip) fathered (9) children by (9) different women in (4) southern states. Then Your Legion Of Doom (LOD), which is a TCFL 20th ANNIVERSARY Franchise, chose Lawrence Maroney. After which Maroney told Your LOD Owner that he has already played against the toughest defense he'll ever face & that was Penn State a few years back with our PSU Road Trip Crew "in the house".

Round 1 continued with Iron's selection of another RB--Ronnie "He's No Leroy" Brown before Brother Dave's Beaves broke the RB run by selecting QB Carson "Daly-Arnold" Palmer. Ross' Cheat'in Chokers then went with Cedric Benson before Mel Kiper gasped when Doug's Rajun Cajuns went Young with Vince Young, although Mel has been wrong before (& so has Ski regarding Tim Couch). Next, I "Herd" Chuck chose the 1st WR Chad "Ocho Cinco" Johnson. Then HHI's Scholesinator/Quick Mike/Swoop went QB/QB/QB = Brady/Brees/McNabb and finally Mighty's Mighties ended Round 1 by selecting the "Mercurial" Marvin Harrison.

Reitzy didn't find it "hard" to start Round 2 by picking Marc Bulger "In Your Pants" nor did Lipper shy away from the hyphenated Maurice Jones-Drew. Game-breaking WR Steve Smith was then selected by the SV Panthers before Da Beaves took Thomas "The Tank Engine" Jones. Then Your LOD boldly proclaimed we would be the 1st TCFL Team (in our 20th ANNIVERSARY Season) to win a TCFL Championship with Jon Kitna at QB. Brothers Ross & Doug followed that with WR's Reggie Wayne & Torry "DeSimone" Holt and then Strap-nac the Magnificent correctly predicted Da Herd's selection of T.O. (or O.D. as the Eagles fans now call him).

Remember Scholesy's past genius pick of Rookie RB L.T., well this year in the TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT, he went with the Boomer Sooner Viking--Rookie RB A.P. (Adrian Peterson). WR Roy Williams (who luvs Your LOD's Jon Kitna) was then selected by the Quick Raiders. Poletti (then trying to be like Scholesy) took Rookie RB MarShawn "The Rubberbandman" Lynch and Mighty Kerr ended the Round 2 insanity with WR Anquan Boldin before Reitzy started Round 3 with his Cards Receiving mate, "Leisure Suit" Larry "Is No Cable Guy" Fitzgerald.

"Whose Your Mama" they said after the Chunk's Round 3 pick of TJ which Iron Mike followed with the 1st Tight End, Antonio "Swinging" Gates. Later in the Round, Ross took Mark Clayton which Doug almost followed with Mark Duper (a.k.a. The Marks Brothers of Dan Marino fame) before settling on the talented WR Andre Johnson. Other notable (in my humble opinion) Round 3 picks were QB's Matt Leinert (25 picks after his Rose Bowl Buddy Vince Young) & Philip "Moon" Rivers by the Herd & Mighties, respectively.

On to Round 4 where a few owners were seeing possibly great value in Randy "A Patriot Stone Gathers No" Moss, but the SV Panthers were the ones who pulled the trigger. Birdsboro Steel took the 1st "D" = Da Bears followed by Quick's pick of The Ravens (Nevermore). The aforementioned "Reitzy Round #5" saw Reitzy take the Pats D and Lip & Dave may have both gotten good value in Deuce "that means 2 @ HHI" McAllister & "Cadillac" Williams. A little later, The Mightiest Man ended Round #5 with Marion "The" Barber "Of Seville" and then called for a TCFL 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT Break.

So now I'll take a break from this TCFL 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT Report to head over to see some future TCFLers as Wilson takes on cross-town Mifflin & then will continue this tomorrow. Back now as Mifflin played impressively in defeating Wilson, although the Bulldogs Top 3 Running Backs were hurt (think what your fantasy team would be without your Top 3 RB's) and their #1 WR/Safety got banged up in the 1st half. Regarding the latter, that provided a golden opportunity for HHI's own--Wilson Freshman Connor Magnum to play "prime time" minutes at Safety (he also played on the Punt team). Before we get back to the TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT, it's also worth mentioning that HHI's own--Steve Roller What the Heck's Offensive Coordinator debut @ Central Catholic was a victory. In addition for the Wyomissing Hills (the home of Hills Hoops Inc) crowd, Wyomissing got a big "W" over Triple A power Pottsville on the road and TCFL Commissioner--The Mightiest Man's Muhlenberg squad impressively defeated Boyertown 43-0.

Back to the TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT's with the venue having changed slightly to the Outdoor Bar area at Mulligans Pub. Chuck was sitting in the "Norm" seat, purposely next to "Cliff Claven" played by Brother Dave. Except that unlike Cliff Claven, Dave really knows a lot about fantasy football & he helped the needy Chuck for the rest of the draft. This help got so blatant that in one of the later rounds, Dave accidently called out Chuck's pick rather than whispering it to him. Round 6 DRAFT highlights included the SV Panthers selecting "Big Ben" and Your LOD picking Rookie WR talent, Calvin "LOD QB Jon Kitna's New Pal" Johnson.

Round 7 saw Lipper finally taking a Redskin--Santana "Oye Como Va" Moss and Reitzy getting Round# 7 Value with Dante "Could Be" Stall-worth "Alot with the Pats" noting the pick had been acquired in a 2006 Trade with Your LOD. Best nickname from Round #7 coined by Your TCFL Supporter Jack Strap with idea originating from F'in Ross saying from way back at PSU was Jerricho "She's Staring at Your" Crotch-ery.

On to Round 8 with Reitzy getting WR value again with "Marilyn's Kid"--Chris Chambers and perhaps Reitzy only plans to house the TCFL Brick for a year. Lipper let his head do the picking vs. his heart when he took the Eagles "D" and have to admit I passed on the Cowboy's Defense because I couldn't stomach that. Round 9 featured "Air" McNair to the Cajuns to help with the TCFL development of Vince Young and the Whiners selecting the Cowboys Defense. I think the Herd did well in Round 10 with Joe "Little Big" Horn and Eli Manning was finally able to "leave the Green Room" when he was selected by The Steel with the 117th Pick (+ 12 more Protected Players including Brother Peyton).

Things started to drag in Round# 11 and I think Iron Mike actually dosed off at one point, only to awake muttering "who took a defense?". PSU's "Touchdown" Tony Hunt was selected by F'In's Cheat'Ins and Josh Scobee "Scobee Doo" by Chuck (or was that Dave?). Isaac Bruce could be the best Round 12 pick in the TCFL's History as Doug finally took him and that Round ended with a Classic LOD nickname Olindo "When the Moon Hits Your Eyes Like a Big Pizza Pie, that's O" Mare drafted by Kerry. Nothing much to report in Unlucky Round #13 except the final "Mr. Irrelevant" pick--Vernand Morency.

So it was a G-r-r-r-r-eat TCFL 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT and Thanks go out to our Mulligans Pub waitresses' Tracy & Stacy who I'm assuming Quick (who coordinated the splitting of the bill) tipped well. I told Mulligans we'd be back next year, but not at that venue as they are actually slated to move elsewhere as a mini-mall is planned to be developed there soon. Also Thanks to My Wife Karen for her famous oooey-gooey bars which Quick & Swoop seemed to particularly enjoy. Thanks also to Iron Mike for trying to cover for Swoop (who has been in charge of getting new TCFL hats for years) by getting everyone good fitting "Leesport" (Home of his Schuykill Valley Panthers) hats. But Swoop is creative as he avoided the TCFL Hat fine by taking a white hard hat & taping "Whiners" on it & although nobody was buying his "3M" hat story--it was funny. When Brother Dave & I departed Mulligans together, we quoted "Lonesome" George Thorogood "Everybody Funny, Now You Funny Too". And everybody in the TCFL is Funny & a Great group of guys or we wouldn't have been having a TCFL 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT, so to quote the "Water Boy" Bobby Bouchee "Thank You for being My Friends".

I encourage you to add your 2 cents (or higher denominations) on the TCFL's 20th ANNIVERSARY DRAFT directly via the "Comments" section below.

HOLIDAY GIFT GIVING

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Let me announce right upfront that on the upcoming Labor Day HOLIDAY weekend, HHI will be in action both on Saturday & Monday @ 8am @ Da Hills (GIFT GIVING is optional). Wanting to get a jump on the HOLIDAY, "HOLIDAY" Bill Ruth was "in da hills house" & was selected as a Captain along with Magnum, Chris-Shiery the Science Guy-ry, and Swoop. They in turn, selected these virtual franchises:
* Doc HOLIDAY = Captain HOLIDAY Bill, Jack "Doc" Strap, Alan "The Question" I-Vath-son, and Sheriff Hacker Notorious B.I.G. Biggy Smalls Sponge Bob Square Little Yao Pants
* Mag-ellan = Captain Magnum, Scholesinator, Who Killed Kenny, Quick Mike, and Energizer Boni
* Chris-tmas HOLIDAY = Captain Chris, DJ Jazzy Jones, Pat's Steaks, and Everybody Knows Joey
* Dikembe Swoop-tumbos = Captain Swoop, Iron Mike, Radon Rader, and Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man
* 18th Man Rover = The Mighty Kerr

Round 1 saw Doc HOLIDAY shooting their "six guns" erratically while Mag-ellan was trying to make like Ferdinand (see his picture below & doesn't he look a lot like Magnum?) and discover (pun intended) what it needed to do to win which was to get the ball to Scholesy as they prevailed. Elsewhere, Chris-tmas HOLIDAY decked the halls & the Dikember Swoop-tumbos.

Round 2 started with the Changing of the Stink'in Losers (Not to be confused with the Changing of the Guard) & the Battle of the HOLIDAYS: Doc vs. Chris-tmas. DJ Jazzy was GIVING GIFT Baskets for Chris-tmas, but "HOLIDAY" Bill Ruth reciprocated with the "he who GIFTS last, GIFTS best" 11-10 game-winner. On the Far Side (without Gary Larsen), it was Mag-ellan gellin with Dr. Scholes to take a 9-4 lead before Dikembe Swoop-tumbo stuffed him to spark a comeback that fell just short as Scholesinator made a nifty (almost) 50 move for the winning hoop.

On to the Championship Finale Round where Mag-ellan won their 3rd straight vs. Chris-tmas HOLIDAY for the Daily Championship. But on the fun side, it was Doc HOLIDAY GIVING winless Dikembe Swoop-tumbos a lot of GIFT calls, but not enough for them to win as Your Athletic Supporter GAVE the last hoop of the day on a GIFT feed from The Question I-Vath-son.

SHOT HEARD 'ROUND DA HILLS

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Scott the SHOT was HEARD 'ROUND DA HILLS this AM in a special HHI return appearance that was snubbed by the likes of Quick Mike, Swoop, What the Heck, Coach, DD Bales & Magnum (who did make a very brief appearance). The (14) other Hoopsters who showed up to play today in the SHOT HEARD 'ROUND DA HILLS games believe in the American right of innocent until proven guilty relating to the allegations that Scott the SHOT ran a dog-fighting ring, used performance enhancing drugs, bet on his own HHI games, and didn't pass the ball.

The SHOT HEARD 'ROUND DA HILLS Tournament squads included:
* Tres Amigos = Scott the SHOT, Hoooo Shot JR & Bank'in Bowers
* Mill & Phil Express = Captain Miller {M2} Madness, Knee Scab Phil, Energizer Boni & Pat's Steaks
* FU Manchu = Captain FUn Frank, Gary US Bonds, Who Killed Kenny & Mighty Kerr
* Vath Sarn (is a fictional comic book superhero, an extraterrestrial from the planet Rann, and a member of the intergalactic police force known as the Green Lantern Corps) = Captain Al Vath Sarn, Scholesinator, Iron Mike & Sheriff Hacker Notorious B.I.G. Biggy Smalls Sponge Bob Square Little Yao Pants

Round 1 saw Pat feeling sorry for the Three (Tres) Team after yours truly made an early out of bounds call against them to which I warned him not to take Tres Amigos lightly. Unfortunately I was right as Tres Amigo prevailed while on the 4-on-4 side, it was the evil Chinese geniuses of FU Manchu defeating the fictional comic book heroes of Vath Sarn.

The Stink'in Losers switched shirts & courts for Round 2 and the Mill & Phil Express looked to be shaving off the mustaches of FU Manchu with a victory before Who Killed Kenny nailed two (2) late deuces for their win. Elsewhere, it was Tres Amigos with Scott the SHOT HEARD 'ROUND DA HILLS defeating Vath Sarn.

On to the Championship Round, but first let me tell you in one of the most important Stink'in Loser bracket games in recent history, it was the Mill & Phil Express getting the "W" as Knee Scab himself drove in the game-winner even though he was up until 3am playing cards. In the Daily Championship bracket, Tres Amigos made it 6 straight wins & 2 straight DC's for 3-Teams in a SHOT HEARD 'ROUND DA HILLS.

On to the Iron Man Finale with these (10) Iron Men dividing & looking to conquer:
* Windy City SHOTS HEARD 'ROUND DA HILLS = Scott the SHOT, Energizer Boni, Pat's Steaks, Iron Mike & Yours Truly
* The Other Guys (TOG) = Gary US Bonds, Who Killed Kenny, Alan "The Question" I-Vath-son, Sheriff Hacker Bob & Mighty Kerr

Early on it was the Windy City SHOTS in control as I was finally hot and Scott the SHOT was feeding me (remember the aforementioned allegation that SHOT doesn't pass?) to take a 9-4 lead. But The Other Guys (TOG) started hitting the long ball & Chicks dig the long ball which are worth twice as many points, thus getting TOG to 15 faster to win & deny Scott the SHOT the IMF Title which probably would have been confiscated on the return flight to Chicago anyway.

READING RAILERS TRYOUTS

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It is obvious why legendary Philadelphia Textile Coach Herb Magee's daughter Kay decided to locate her Premier Basketball League (PBL) franchise in READING, because it's an area rich with basketball talent & tradition. It is also obvious that Hills Hoops Inc. (HHI) is "the straw that stirs the drink" when it comes to READING basketball talent & tradition as we move towards our 15th anniversary. Kay Magee's READING RAILERS TRYOUTS are coming up and she would want the 50 Hoopsters on this HHI BLOG distribution to know that will be Sunday, August 26 @ Alvernia College & Sunday, Sept. 30 @ Philadelphia College (formerly Philadelphia Textile). It is no coincidence that these TRYOUTS aren't on a Saturday, so as not to conflict with HHI.

There was HHI Basketball this Saturday (as always) with the pre-game featuring a presentation of the TCFL (established 1988) Super Bowl Championship Plaque to Kerry's Muhlenberg Mighties which drew a big cheer from the 14 players in action. These 14 players were then divided into 2 squads of 7 by Knee Scab Phil & Sheriff Hacker Bob as follows:
* Stink'in Losers (Phil's former TCFL team name) = Captain Phil, Quick Mike, Iron Mike, Magnum Mike, Mighty Kerr, Who Killed Kenny, and Diggetty Doug Bales
* Hacker's Always Right = Captain SHB, Chris Shiery the Science Guy-ry, Alan "The Question" I-Vath-son, What the Heck, Energizer Boni, Coach Bill, and Your Athletic Supporter

Since Hacker's Always Right, I guess it's no surprise that his Team defeated the aptly named Stink'in Losers. During that game, Everybody Know Joey biked in late & after serving his one game suspension, (4) Teams were thrown together as follows:
* Three Stooges = Magnum (Moe), Phil (Larry) & Heck (Curley)
* Hacker's Never Wrong = Captain SHB, Vath, Bales & Jack Strap
* Quicksand = Quick Mike, Iron Mike, Chris Cross Will Make You Jump-Jump & Energizer Boni
* Muhlenberg Mighties = Mighty Kerr, Coach Bill, Who Killed Kenny & Everybody Knows Joey

Round 1 saw Coach hitting 1-2-3-4 deuces (can he do that at the READING RAILERS TRYOUTS?) to lead the Mighties over Hacker's Never Wrong while the Three Stooges yuck-yuck-yucked it up while sinking Quicksand.

The Stink'in Losers switched courts for Round 2 and there was evidently some confusion as the Three Stooges thought it was READING Express TRYOUTS and played accordingly with their own unique brand of physical comedy (using everything but the eye poke). Only Hacker's Never Wrong wasn't laughing & at least Your Athletic Supporter got in one good shot while knocking Heck back on to his keister. After which I should have stood over him and repeated that classic Big Julius line from Remember the Titans: "you better get comfortable down there". Note Heck isn't on this distribution, so let's keep this just between us HHI Bloggers. This game also featured some controversial jump ball/walking call arguments between Heck & Hacker (who is Never Wrong). Meanwhile on the quiet side of Da Hills, it was Joey sparking
the Mighties over Quicksand.

The Daily Championship Round saw the Mighties seeking to add an HHI Title to Kerry's TCFL Championship and they were on the verge of that vs. the Three Stooges before Magnum hammered in a backboard-rattling deuce & Heck hit the 11-10 DC-winner, which should impress the READING RAILERS. Less impressively in the Stink'in Losers bracket, it was Quicksand over Hacker's.

But with the READING RAILERS TRYOUTS coming up, 8 of the 15 Hoopsters (or 53%) opted to get in some extra work with an Iron Man Finale (IMF) which saw Mighty, Vath, Boni & Yours Truly defeat Coach, Chris, Iron & Kenny for the coveted IMF Title to also add to Mighty Kerr's trophy case.

PRETTY QUICK RETURN

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

I know it felt like it took forever, but it was a PRETTY QUICK RETURN today considering he broke his 5th metarsal bone which is way worse than Greg Oden's 5th meta-tonsil problem. QUICK Mike said he wanted to be called Not So QUICK, but I'd have to rate him as PRETTY QUICK in his 1st games since April.

There were eventually a Sweet 16 Hoopsters in action, although they PRETTY QUICKLY turned into a Sweaty 16 & that was just in the warm-up. Rather than shoot for the 1st pick, the Captains evidently arm-wrestled and surprisingly Magnum won that & not surprisingly selected Diggetty Doug Bales. The squads then filled out as follows:
* Magnum P.I.'s = Captain Magnum as Tom Selleck, #1 Bales, Knee Scab Phil, and Hooo Shot JR
* Marsh of the Penguins = Captain Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man, Iron Mike, Mighty Kerr, and Your Athletic Supporter
* The Joey Show = Captain Everybody Knows Joey, PRETTY QUICK, Coach Bill, and Energizer Boni
* The Wrath of Vath = Captain Alan "The Question" I-Vath-son, Radon Rader, Who Killed Kenny, and Pat's Steaks

Round 1 of the Round-Round Robin Goes Hacker Bob-Bob-Bobbin Along 4x4x2 Tournament saw The Joey Show with PRETTY QUICK take a 6-2 lead before the Marsh of the Penguins reeled off 9 of the next 10 points to prevail. Elsewhere it was the Magnum P.I.'s narrowly defeating The Wrath of Vath 11-9.

As per HHI Tradition, the Stink'in Losers switched courts for Round 2 and then saw Pat's Steaks hit 3 deuces & the single point game-winner as The Wrath stopped the Marsh of the Penguins. On the far side--it was JR playing like he was the #1 pick as the Magnum P.I.'s solved The Joey Show.

On to Round 3 which saw the Magnum P.I.'s shooting a torrid pace to defeat the Penguins with K.S. Phil hitting the game-winner. On the flip side, it was The Wrath of Vath handing The Joey Show with PRETTY QUICK their 3rd straight defeat.

The Championship Round featured Round #1 rematches and although The Joey Show almost blew a 10-5 lead--they did get their revenge vs. Marsh of the Penguins as PRETTY QUICK left with both a Win & his Health in tact. Could the The Wrath of Vath also get their revenge vs. Magnum P.I.'s? It looked that way with the score tied at 10 and Vath himself driving to the hoop, but a traveling call which I think was made by that gambling NBA ref turned it back to the Magnum P.I.'s who made no mistake in capturing their Daily Championship.

Despite the heat & humidity, a Bo Derek 10 stuck around for the Iron Man Finale (IMF). It was Captain Vath with Pat teaming with Captain Marsh with Mighty & Me vs. Boni, Bill, Iron, Kenny & JR. Despite Vath playing like he was back in 3rd grade on the 8-foot baskets, it was a turnaround JR Hooo Shot that gave his squad the IMF Title.