JUST LIKE OLD TIMES

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It was JUST LIKE OLD TIMES today, cobbling together a game at the last minute. This was what it was like 16 years ago when what is now Hills Hoops Inc. (HHI) started. We didn't have easy communication to all players with email/the BLOG--we had to pickup the phone & do it call-by-call-by-call. We didn't have an indoor option when the court was wet/puddled or snowed over--we had brooms & Iron's snow-blower. We didn't have a huge roster of players to draw from--we had a core of dedicated players & camaraderie.

I'm really glad it was JUST LIKE OLD TIMES today, although I was worried at one point that there might not be a game. When we pulled a game together I really appreciated it, whereas usually I just take it for granted. I'd like to say I didn't put out an email communication early this morning on purpose to see if we could still make a game happen JUST LIKE OLD TIMES. But the "Paragon Of Virtue" truth is that I overslept & then had to take a massive dump while getting caught up reading the sports page including Wilson's 35-14 "leave no doubt" vengeful victory over Mifflin (note HHI's Super Soph Connor Magnum got his 1st career catch with many more to come).

So at 8am, I had just left my house. Swoop/Iron were the only ones @ Da Hills besides, as Swoop reported, "a guy fly-fishing on the court". EX-Smoker Bob was alone in the Grace Church parking lot. So Swoop & I talked on the phone and agreed they would go with the key to the Church while I would continue to Da Hills to pick-up stragglers. I found stragglers Gary US Bonds & Quick Mike and sent them to Grace. Swoop/Iron found Boo (who has joined the HHI network as papadumac@aol.com which he advised means Mac Daddy in French--LOL) & Bank'in Bowers and suddenly we had 7 players.

So knowing "Eight is Enough" I started working the phones on my way back to Grace, but the aging hoopsters dedication has waned a bit and Coach Bill turned us down because he was enjoying his coffee, Who Killed Kenny didn't feel like going "way over" to Grace because he had things to do, and I woke up Lipper who said "he wasn't going to make it". But Quick rung Bales out of bed and Diggetty Doug said he'd be there but warned he'd be "Cranky". Then EX-Smoker Bob who had just been driving around from venue-to-venue trying to find us (Big Bob--give me your cellphone #) finally did back at Grace where he started, so we had (9) for a JUST LIKE OLD TIMES game.

Thus it was "Smoke on the Water" with EX-Smoker, Swoop, Gary US Bonds & Bank'in Bowers vs. "The Crank Yankers" with "Cranky" Bales, Quick, Iron, Boo (the Mike Tice look-a-like per Heck) and Your Athletic Supporter. Game 1 saw Smoke on the Water cranking up their Deep Purple amps & their game while "smoking" The "clank" (as in miss) Yankers.

Smoke on the Water then got a bit cocky and let The Crank Yankers play with the man advantage rather than a sub. Despite a game Game#2 effort by SmotW, TCY's power play was good enough for the win sparked by Bales risking injury while diving on the court for a loose ball JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

In Game 3, Bales (who Quick promised "good press" to get him out-of-bed to be the 8th player before we found Big Bob) hit a key 3-foot bank shot (after meticulously surveying the court to assure there wasn't a better shot available for The Crank Yankers) before going down with an ankle injury. But with a "Win One for the Bales-er" attitude, The Crank Yankers prevailed JUST LIKE OLD TIMES with some precision passing & shooting down-the-stretch.

But in a show of sportsmanship--which is an HHI hallmark, rather than take the Daily Championship--The Crank Yankers gave Smoke on the Water a chance to tie the series and let everyone go home a winner. And everyone did as Gary's deuce-shooting ability (which obviously wasn't in TCY's scouting report) & Swoop's swoops (JUST LIKE OLD TIMES) led Smoke on the Water to the win.

So as much as it was great to play today JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, it's back to the present on Labor Day Monday with the official 16th HHI Anniversary Game @ Da Hills @ 8am with a huge turnout expected on what will be a be-a-u-tiful day.

TCFL CAN NOW DRINK (Legally)

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

The TCFL turned 21 last night, so they CAN NOW DRINK (Legally). To celebrate the TCFL reaching DRINKING Age, Lipper exhibited the greatest variety of DRINKS in the league's storied history (Thanks Lip). Seemingly ironically--the TCFL Owners mostly chose non-alcoholic beverages, but that made sense as they needed to keep their wits to participate in this hyper-competitive league. There was also a snack spread including those addictive (to me anyway) dipping soft pretzels and a "taste of heaven" = oooey gooey bars from My Wife Karen.

After Chucky Boy finally made it after getting lost (when he called, he was heading the wrong direction past the VF Outlets) and F'in Ross/Double D Doug arrived after battling a traffic jam (note Scholesy was also delayed by traffic from an early arrival & thus only arrived on time @ 7pm with Brother Dave & I as the 1st to arrive), the TCFL's 21st Annual Draft was ready to begin. But 1st an "emotional" presentation of the TCFL Brick (& Beer) by "Get It Right" Reitzy to yours truly including his addition of a special display for this uncoveted trophy.

With the least players protected in TCFL History (i.e. 8 RB's/3 QB's/1 Randy Moss), this draft was talent-laden and Ross (& his Cheat'in Chokers)--who know something about "talent"--wasted no time selecting Joseph "Live & Let" Addai after rejecting "my 1st & best" trade up-down offer. PO-letti's Whiners then picked Marshawn "Merrill" Lynch who they had selected in the 2nd round last year. Doug's Cajuns went with "Bruce's illegitimate son", Reggie "The Dark Knight" Wayne and The Mighties drafted emerging star & Chad Henne's old buddy: WR--Braylon Edwards. Your Legion Of Doom then got the best QB on the board--Drew Brees "Doesn't Blow" followed by Da Fighting Beaves choice of Andy Reid's best WR ever: T.O.. Lipper & his Chunks All Stars laptop, then went with yet another WR, Larry "Daryl & My Other Brother Daryl" Fitzgerald from Pitt because he's trying to be a good neighbor (note those living on both sides of him are Pitt fans). The WR run then continued with the Quick Raiders' drafting of Andre "The Giant?" Johnson.

Let's start a new paragraph for Scholesy's Steel who everyone feels sorry for after breaking TCFL scoring records last year with (arguably) the best 3 players in the League (i.e. Brady, LT & Adrian Peterson) & not winning the Championship. Scholesy knows RB's & I also think his protected LT told him to take LT's former back-up & now the fastest runner in Atlanta since Vick's Dogs--Michael Turner. His son Stephen may have also recommended that pick as he gets ready for his new reality show "Dad Teaches me to Drive" which should be as entertaining as "Hulk Hogan Knows Best".

OK, let's finally finish off Round 1 (yes, it's still Round 1) with Running Backs "Whatcha Talk'in About" Willis McGahee (Herd), Ryan "Whose Buried in" Grant's "Tomb" (DiBros), and The TCFL World Champion SV Panthers selection of Ernest "Hemingway didn't write as well as Jack Strap" Graham. With the "Kenny Stabler" Snake, Iron Mike then completed his backfield with Rookie Raiders RB Darren McFadden to start Round 2.

The most talked about Round 2 selection was Chuck's "Some People Call Him" Maurice Jones-Drew. Then Lipper screwed up Brother Dave by picking Jamal Lewis "and Clark Expedition" and 10 minutes later Dave finally settled on Brandon Jacobs. The Chokers ended this Round with C. (Calvin) Johnson while Your LOD started the 3rd Round with C. (Chad) Johnson. Round 3 also saw The Steel use their pick from the Brady Trade to get Big Ben R.... followed by the Chokers selection of Donovan "Please Get Me Some Receivers" McNabb. Later Chuck took ESPN's 141st rated player: Vince "Forever" Young when he could have gotten their 98th rated player: Tony "Who???" Scheffler.

Since the TCFL CAN NOW DRINK (Legally), Your LOD started Round #4 with that North Philly Bar Owner--"Marvelous Starv'in" Marvin Harrsion. Later Reggie "Dubya" Bush was elected by Lipper & "Joshua Fought the Battle of" Jerricho "She's Staring at Your" Crotchery by Scholesy.

Round 5 featured Mighty's "reach" Jonathon Stewart who could be a star as could another rookie RB Kevin Smith picked by the Rajun Cajuns. Iron, still "high" from his TCFL Championship, selected "Reggae" Ricky "Nickel Doobie Bag" Williams who "supplies" my 5th Round Pick: Ronnie "Down Town" Brown.

We took a break after Round 5, so I'll do the same now as The Miller Family is heading out to breakfast. Quick, meet us in at your favorite free breakfast buying spot: The Ranch House in 30 minutes or less as I'm buying. Quick didn't show, but I really enjoyed my free breakfast (Karen bought) including eggs (sunny side up), home fries, scrapple, and a sticky bun.

During the TCFL CAN NOW DRINK (Legally) Draft intermission--we voted on Quick's "Indiana Jones" 12-Rounds of Snake (failed--2 votes), Reitzy's Reverse Snake, and Quick's "Snake" resubmission (2 votes again). There was also a Reitzy proposal to use "TCFL Dollars" for waiver wire free agaents, which I then turned into unlimited real dollar (US$, not Canadian $) secret auctions claims for free agents--both failed. What passed was the restructure of the Stink'in Losers Tournament, giving the 2 worst teams 1st round "Byes" (like Cheat'in Ross at Reitzy & My Batchelor Party, although they don't face Mr. Bates in the next round).

Also during this intermission, somebody (& you know who you are, so proudly fess up) laid down the stinkiest poop in TCFL Draft History (see http://www.poopnames.com/). That smell wafted as Round #6 started & ended with Iron's selection of "Jets #4" Brett "Retire-Unretire" Favre. The 7th Round saw Your LOD select their 2nd Johnson--Rudi who was a TCFL-protected player in 2007. In addition, Ross took the one & only Eagles WR in the 2008 TCFL CAN NOW DRINK Draft--Deshaun Jackson. I started Round 8 with Derrick Mason because I saw a kid waiting for a bus who was wearing a Ravens "Mason" jersey (note the kid's name could have been "Mason"). This round also saw Doug select the 1st Kicker, although a Kicker run didn't ensue. Instead, the DiBros took Isaac Bruce who is "Alive", although Isaac Hayes is "Dead".

On to the 9th Round which saw Scholesy select the Eagles D to go along with his Steelers D (i.e. the 2 best TCFL Defenses in PA). In Round 10--Your LOD took a 3rd Johnson: Chris, a Titans Rookie RB from the East Carolina Pirates of the Caribbean. Also unforgetable former 1st Pick in the TCFL Draft (by Ross)--the "Packers D" went to Da Beaves. Round 11 featured some kickers, has-beens, and wanna-be's. That just left the Finale Round #12 which ended interestingly with the next to last pick by Reitzy being Chad Henne. Reitzy's plan was to then go home & wake up Sue, so she could hear him call Mighty to drop that Michigan Grad (Brilliant!). And the last pick--Mr. Irrelevant was David "He's Not Green" Akers by the World Champion SV Panthers.

So THANKS again Lip for the superior hosting of 2008 TCFL CAN NOW DRINK at Age 21 Draft & let the games begin starting next Thursday.

PEEWS (SWEEP Backwards)

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

HHI Today featured those "Codgers", Coach Bill & Hacker Bob as Captains and they picked these Teams:
* Hack'n'Jack Connection = Hacker Bob, Jack Strap, Magnum, Radon Rader, and Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man
* Coach's SWEEP-PEEWS = Coach Bill, EX-Smoker Bob, Quick Mike, Iron Mike, Mighty Kerr & Who Killed Kenny

Right before Game #1, Coach told our HHI sideline reporters (pictured below) Hannah Storm "Is Threatening" & Usain "I'm Sane" Bolt "of Lightning" that "we're going to (expletive deleted)'in SWEEP them". This provided the Hack'n'Jack Connection "bulletin board" motivation to turn SWEEP Backwards.












Game #1 saw Coach's prognostication looking psychic as his SWEEP-PEEWS jumped to a 7-3 lead. But then & only then did the Hack'n'Jack Connection come roaring back behind the deuce-shooting of Hack & Jack as they went on a 12-1 run for an impressive victory to negate the SWEEP & turn it to PEEWS.

So now it was the SWEEP-PEEWS who had to worry about the SWEEP heading into Game 2 and they should have focused their worries on the Hack'n'Jack Connection's Marsh who took control of their passing lanes as he made steal-after-steal-after-steal & raced down the court Bolt-like, well ahead of the SWEEP-PEEWS for easy lay-ups to spark H'n'J's Daily Championship win.

But Hack'n'Jack wasn't satisfied with the DC as they wanted nothing less than a SWEEP heading into Game #3 which saw the Magnum'n'Rader Connection scoring inside & out for that SWEEP. After which, Captain Hacker mimicked a Broom SWEEP to add insult to injury to the PEEWS who played like that sounds.

But there was still an Iron Man Finale (IMF) and Magnum was departing to a Pedophiles event, although he noted they don't call it that. So EX-Smoker quickly traded Coach Bill Mac to the Hack'n'Jack'n'Mac Connection where he found new life while hitting a couple deuces to stake H'n'J'n'M to an 8-0 lead from which they cruised like "Lightning" Bolt to the IMF Title & a complete SWEEP of the PEEWS.

TRADE/FREE AGENTS/ENERGY TRANSFER/1st FAN

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

It was a wack-a-doo day @ Da Hills as you may have ascertained by the Report Title and it started with Who Killed Kenny picking the teams based on shirt color. Although Gary US Bonds was OK with his non-white squad, DJ Jazzy Jones wasn't so DJ was TRADED for Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man. That left these Teams:
* DJ & the Deer (remake of BJ & the Bear from 70's TV) = DJ, FREE AGENT Junior High from the SRBA (Stiff Rich Basketball Amalgamation) who was signed to a 10-day HHI contract by Coach Bill, Who Killed Kenny, Bank'in Bow-Bow-Bowers, Quick Mike & Your Athletic Supporter
* Diff'rent Tokes make for funnier Jokes (remake of Gary Coleman's Diff'rent Strokes from 70's TV) = Gary US Bonds, EX-Smoker Bob, Marsh, Iron, Mighty & the non-silent but deadly killer: Radon Rader

Game 1 started with Marsh scoring & Big Bob declaring that TRADE the "best ever". The Deers then proceeded to run out in packs for fast-break points. But Diff'rent Tokes eventually slowed the pace & that was No Joke for DJ as every Deer he then passed to for an assist, missed. Thus Diff'rent Tokes/Jokes prevailed.

FREE AGENT Everybody Knows Joey then biked in for Game 2 to become a Deer, replacing Quick Mike who said he was going to see a new Explorer. I think that really meant he was going home to watch a new episode of Dora the Explorer which is why Marsh's twins weren't there today. DJ, being the quintessential team player, then TRANSFERRED all his ENERGY to FREE AGENT Joey who used it to give DJ & the Deers the series-tying victory.

I then had a chance to talk to our 1st FAN during the early stages of the Daily Championship Game. By the 1st FAN, I don't mean our only FAN as the guy probably camped out for a couple days to be able to stand next to the HHI bench. His name is Sandy and he grew up in the coal region playing ball everyday in Shamokin (see his childhood home below) until his Mom yelled for him to get home to eat. Everybody called him Sanny until graduation where they announced his real name "Sandy" and everybody laughed, so he had to move to Da Hills. He was a postal carrier for 41 years & never missed a day while delivering the mail in rain, snow, sleet & on wonderfully sunny days like today. Now he has a fat pension & on my way home I saw him telling this woman about how he was HHI's 1st FAN which I'm sure will get him laid.
Anyway, #1 FAN Sandy saw DJ & the Deer capture the Daily Championship (DC) led by Kenny who fittingly lives in Sandy's neighborhood.

That just left the Iron Man Finale (IMF) although #1 FAN Sandy left with his cane before that to "beat the traffic". Even though there were No TRADES, FREE AGENTS, ENERGY TRANSFERS, OR #1 FANS, the IMF wasn't without wackiness as Radon Radon hit back-to-back deuces on the way to a career-high 5 points while leading Diff'rent Tokes make for funnier Jokes (especially with that patented Rader Laugh) to the IMF Title.

3P "UPSET": BALES! BALES!! BALES!!!

By Your 3P Supporter, Jack Strap

It was a Picture Perfect Poletti Pool Party (i.e. 2P + 3P = 5P if you remember your algebra) including the weather, food/drink, activities, and camaraderie. The Poletti Village had been expanded since the 2007 edition of the 3P with a shade patio area (Note: the older you get the farther it appears to be to the Gazebo). Early on, the shade patio was the relaxation station place to be for the 3P Crowd.

But let's step back before the 3P & appreciate all the pre-party efforts from The Hostess with the Mostest: Diane-dretti Poletti & The Boss with the Apple-Sauce: Swoop (Note: Figure-Head didn't rhyme with Apple-Sauce). It should be noted that Swoop couldn't find a metal detector, so he crawled around for an hour on his hands & knees (1st time he's done that since Penn St.) before finally finding that underground volleyball pole.

The Mighties: Monica & Kerry were the 1st to arrive at the 3P, filling in for Scholesy who was on Vacation. Jack Strap then arrived around Chinese Dentist Time = Tooth-Hurty = 2:30pm noting that saying was invented by another 3P participant: "Guido-Meister" Steve Schaeffer. When Quick Mike arrived loud-mouth chattering as soon as he got out of the car, Mighty Monica quipped "does he come with an Off switch" which was voted the best 3P Line of the day.

After the aforementioned relaxation station group interactions, the aging crowd including the achy-breaky HHIers made their way from their comfortable seats to the games area next-door which included Washers & this other like-kind game which I called Slingo but that also was called Blongo and/or The Ladder Game. Meanwhile Swoop fired up the Grill-Master 5000 at the 3P which symbolizes letting the Eating Games begin (kinda sorta like the Olympic Torch).

As always, the spread of food & beverages & desserts was impressive, so Thanks to all who directly contributed to that. My contribution is largely to eat & drink it and I "sucked it up" as a 3P Team-Player by skipping lunch, so I could do my part with my Favorites being "The Brat", those soft pretzels with the dips, and of course the tradition of Monica Cookies. My Wife Karen really liked Di's Pulled Pork Sandwiches & Lip "The Trout Dip" was partial to Karen D's Asparagus Wraps.

So then it was time for The Main Event: the Poletti Invitational Volleyball Tournament (PIVT). In the Preliminary Round Best of 3 Series it was Swoop & His Henchmen-women including The Giant Lipper, Mighty Kerr, Mighty Monica, Britty Bell, and Amanda White vs. Mike & Mike including Quick & Iron with Cool E, Jen White, BALES! and Yours Truly.

Kind of like Martin Mull in Mr. Mom, Poletti has never lost his own PIVT Championship and want it noted that I send out a memo in that regard to the 3P participants every year. In Game #1, Mike & Mike took it to Team Poletti and on game point with BALES! serving, Quick & Iron came up with the "bright idea" of telling BALES!! that if he wins it, he gets Beer. BALES!!! then uncorks an unreturnable serve with a "style" that was part Blutto from Animal House & part Russian Women Gymnast (think Olga Korbut).

On to Game 2 with plenty of time for Poletti to keep his 3P record in tact and I have to say Swoop was all over the court (kind of like Michael Keaton in Multiplicity) in leading his Team to vic-tor-y. But in Game 3, kind of like Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom, BALES!! is scoring points late & beating "Martin Mull" Swoop. On game point with the delirious 3P crowd chanting Beer! Beer!! Beer!!!, BALES!!! gets caught up in the moment, forgets the memo & Michael Keaton "falling" at the end of the Mr. Mom race, and uncorks another Blutto/Olga serve for the Mike & Mike Preliminary Round series win. Afterward I see Poletti pull out his little 3P Book & cross out "Doug", but the "BALES" is still there as we'll be back on the PIVT court for the Medal Round later.

On to the Poletti Pool which Chuck's young clan is enjoying while Ross & Chuck school Will "The Fresh Prince" Barbera for his big pool basketball game vs. the HHI Daily Champions of the past 2 weeks: Swoop & Strap. This schooling includes Chuck being the good Father with a positive optimistic inspirational message while Ross teaches every devious trick in the book. Early on, Ross' teaching is all that's coming through with Will as he's cheating his way to the lead before Swoop & Strap teach him a lesson by pulling out the stinky feet defense. But then like a good Disney Movie, at the end Will remembers what his Dad told him & wins the game the right way with some impressive shooting.

We were losing light so after a short break, it was back to the PIVT, but by then Swoop had recruited his Wallyball Partner "Henchman" Harry Wong & Wife Diane-dretti who legend says once killed a man (i.e. Harvard Dad) on that very volleyball court when her serve hit him in the chest & he has never been seen at the 3P again. Meanwhile, Mike & Mike was happy to add Kathy Werley-Wong.

Game 1 of the Medal Round was marked by some long & exciting volleys, but as "luck" would have it at the end it was BALES again serving for the match with the crowd again chanting BALES! BALES!! BALES!!! so I again contend that he gets caught up in his "15 minutes of Fame" moment and wins it with that Blutto/Olga serve.

So there's only time for one more game, but I'm thinking maybe a tie will keep BALES on the 3P Invite list and it's looking OK when Swoop & Harry are working their Wallyball Wagic (as Elmer Fudd would say) & Mighty Kerr is scoring consistently on his serve. But then Quick throws in a "monkey wrench" with some rambunctious scoring play at the net & suddenly it's my worst nightmare: I'm serving for the match. The crowd is calling for me to replicate the unreturnable BALES serve, but I luv going to the 3P & have enough sense to pop up an easy short serve that...somehow falls in for the 3P "UPSET".

OK Swoop, here's the thing (as Monk would say)--it wasn't my fault & I'm going to also plead for leniency for BALES!!!, but I understand that somebody has to go off the 3P List, so I gotta throw Quick "under the bus" with the caveat that you keep Cool E on it. I'm confident this will be a popular decision with the 3P Crowd and it will pave the way for Magnum to return to the 3P as he's obviously been "afraid" to show up because he can't "Man Up" with Quick Mike.

So after all that action & excitement it was back to a little 3P relaxation with my favorite stories coming from Pure Carbon Corinne of a "hard-headed" Iron Mike making like "Survivorman" and courageously (or perhaps "stupidly") fighting the ice/snow storm elements on a couple of occasions. But then "Get It Right" Reitzy, who always comes up with his best ideas at night, did so again by recommending ultra-relaxation in the hot tub. So Reitzy. Swoop, Lip & I retreated there under the stars on a gorgeous night with guy talk including our favorite movies/actors/lines like Harvey Keitel, Christoper Walken, Eric Stoltz, Denzell, Joe "My Cousin Vinny" Pesce (of course), etc, etc.

As I finally headed out from the 3P I thought of my infamous 3P line, which I stole from Captain Lou Albano, the 3P is "often imitated but never duplicated" as close by there was the Polooza Party which is a measily 2 P's (although an impressive 7 Kegs) and the Reading Fair which did have a fireworks display although it wasn't anywhere near as "shocking & awing" as the 3P Fireworks back in the day when all our kids were young. So on behalf of all the 3Pers, our Thanks to Diane & Steve for another wonderful 3P!!!

THE 2008 HHI GAMES

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

At precisely 8:09:08am on 8/9/08, the Opening Ceremonies for THE 2008 HHI GAMES began with much hoopla (pun intended). The (14) "Countries" represented enjoyed this in varying ways including the "Republic of" Bales sunning on the bench on an absolutely gorgeous day @ Da Hills in contrast to smoggy Beijing. Meanwhile, Swoop & I reminisced about our Quick-Time-Players sweep of Steve-Roller Heck last week, the 1st time "What The" was swept in the modern era (i.e. the last 16 years of HHI Basketball). Then like the Blues Brothers, we decided to get last week's Daily Championship Band back together also including Who Killed Kenny, Bank'in Bowers, and Captain Quick Mike while adding Boo Mike Tice & Diggetty Doug Bales. Our opponents were formidable (so let's call them "The Formidables") including Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man, EX-Smoker Bob, Alan "The Question" I-Vath-son, Pat's Steaks, Mighty Kerr, Iron Mike and Coach Bill.

The early stages of THE 2008 HHI GAMES saw EX-Smoker Bob making more steals/thefts than the last Reading Eagle Police Report which included Councilman Jeff's son getting arrested for possession of marijuana. Meanwhile, Boo Mike Tice gave the Quick-Time-Players II a lift with solid offensive play inside & out. This game was closely contested through out, but at the end the Q-T-P II's Jack Strap scored on a drive & then followed that up from mid-range with the game-winner off of one of the most legal screens of Kenny's career.

Game#2 started close but then "The Formidables" put together an impressive stretch of basketball that catapulted them to an easy 15-5 victory. Some plays that stood out included Coach's precision bomb to Marsh (who appeared to be covered) for a lay-up, Marsh's hustle-play save to EX-Smoker for another lay-up, and Alan the Question's up-and-under move basket with the V-A-T-H ball.

So THE 2008 HHI GAMES Medals were up-for-grabs in The Daily Championship Game 3. Q-T-P II came back strong in this contest, jumping to what looked like to the untrained eye as an insurmountable lead, but The Formidables chip-chip-chipped away at it until it was tied at 13. But-But then Who Killed Kenny stopped the Q-T-P II's bleeding with a driving hoop, but-but-but The Formidables tied it at the other end. But-But-But-But (the super-dreaded Quadruple But) Captain Quick scored THE 2008 HHI GAMES Gold Medal Daily Championship winning shot for Q-T-P II.

That just left the Iron Man Finale (IMF) where the pissed-off Silver Medalists "The Formidables" layed the smack down & won the IMF Title with a Chinese government-like beat-down of the human rights of Q-T-P II to end THE 2008 HHI GAMES.

ATLEAST 2

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Quick Mike honored his pledge to be an HHI Captain today--maybe because he knew Commish Wojo-Mojo was only a stone's throw away or perhaps he heard the rumors of Commissioner Emeritus Collin pulling a "Favre" to return & again put him in his place. But we need ATLEAST 2 Captains, so I asked "if anyone was Man enough to pick against Quick" knowing that the recently AWOL Magnum would then step forward, although it's ironic that the 1st thing Mag said to Quick was "I don't care what you say, I get Heck". They then proceeded to draft these virtual franchises:
* Mysterium Magnum (which denotes primordial undifferentiated matter, from which all the Classical Elements like "Iron" sprang) = Cap Magnum, Iron Mike, Diggetty Doug Bales, Sheriff Hacker Bob, and What the Heck
* Quick-Time Players (sponsored by Apple) = Cap Quick, Swoop, Bank'in Bowers, Who Killed Kenny, and Your Athletic Supporter
* 11th Man Rover Mighty--who unlike Favre, wouldn't even consider accepting pay to not play

Game 1 was your usual classic HHI basketball that you come to expect on a weekly basis and despite rain all over the area, Da Hills was "dry as a bone". The Quick-Time Players featured a balanced offensive attack & a "helping" defensive alignment while it was no mystery that Mysterium Magnum was always looking for their Captain's "must have" Heck. On the final play--Kenny drove to the hoop, drew the defense, and then delightfully dished it to Jack Strap for the Quick-Time Players' game-winning hoop. With that basket, Yours Truly had his 2nd point and as Bowers told this reporter during the post-game "everyone on our Team had ATLEAST 2 points".

In Game #2, Mysterium Magnum extended their perimeter defense to take away the Quick-Time Players deuces which hurt them a lot the 1st game. Meanwhile Swoop was doing yeomen's work (performed or rendered in a loyal, valiant, useful, or workmanlike manner, especially in situations that involve a great deal of effort or labor) on defense vs. Steve-Roller Heck. With this game tied at 13--I was scoreless & feeling pressure to score ATLEAST 2 points to make my quota, so upon hearing Captain Magnum tell his defense "no deuces"--I calmly stepped out to "Pat Range" behind "picket fence picks" and down it went for the Quick-Time Players' Daily Championship. More importantly than the DC, "everyone on our Team had ATLEAST 2 points".

So that just left Game 3 for pride & fun, not necessarily in that order. This was another close game, but at the end it was Captain Quick (who was hoping for some good publicity here after seeing his Ex-Fiancee in the Reading Eagle) with a Brilliant pass (I think I heard those Guinness guys say that as he threw it) to Kenny for the Magnum-Killing lay-up and the series sweep.