OLD TIMERS DAY

By One of the OLD TIMERS, Swoop PO-letti

Saturday was a special edition OLD TIMERS DAY at the Hills. Players had to be at least 50 years old to participate. The problem with the minimum age requirement is that many of the old guys are injured or too senile to remember the 8:00am start. So, that left only six players; Ex-Smoker, Who Killed Kenny, Iron Mike, Coach, Swoop and the newest 50 year old, Rader.

Six players meant half court, which for old men worked out okay. They split the teams up as follows;

The Canes: Iron, Coach & Swoop

The Walkers: Rader, Kenny & Smoker

The first game saw the Walkers get out early but then it started raining twos and the Canes came out on top. Game two started where game one left off and the Canes crushed the Walkers by 10 points. Coach declared a best of 9 (which became a best of 7) and the Canes went on to beat the Walkers 4 games to 2 behind some hot shooting from Iron. I can’t remember the details like Jack Strap can – but he is a lot younger than me – so you can make up your own details, none of us will remember well enough to dispute it.

Just as the last game finished, our #1 fan Sandy showed up. When I told him we were done, he asked when we started. I’m sure we’ve told him before – but he’s over 80 – he’s allowed to be senile. The rest of you should remember – it’s 8:00 every Saturday morning.

ACADEMICS, ATHLETICS & LABOR

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

In case you missed it from the PA. Dept. of Education, Wilson bested all Berks schools in PSSA proficiency percentages proving once again that Connor Magnum was smart to transfer there for ACADEMICS. The ATHLETICS at Wilson aren't bad either most recently evidenced by their mercy-ruling of the Mustangs where Connor made the Play of the Game--an HHI-like leaping interception.

So what do ACADEMICS & ATHLETICS have to do with HHI? Absolutely nothing as not even yours truly could pull that off as a segue. But HHI did have (14) Hoopsters in LABOR Day games action as follows:

• Hot Dates = X-Smoker Bob Dates, Quick Mike, DJ Jazzy Jones, Radon Rader, DD Bails, Who Killed Kenny & Swoop
• Boo-ty Calls = Boo, Marsh-mellow Man, Alan "The Question" I-Vathson, Scott from Hangover, Coach Bill, Mighty Kerr, and Iron Mike

LABOR Day Game 1 started with a Bob Hot Dates deuce & ended exactly the same way with a "Bookend" Bob 2-ball in a 15-6 beat-down of Boo-ty Calls.

Game# 2 showed you can't have Boo-ty Calls without Boo as his mid-range marksmanship along with the balanced Booty Calls scoring attack (i.e. all players put up points) were the keys to their 15-12 victory to tie the series.

So it was on to the Daily Championship (DC) game which saw the Hot Dates stealing the Boo-ty Calls balanced attack blue-print as all contributed to their score which along with a LABORIOUS "D" holding Marsh scoreless, were the ways & means to their DC.

Next up was the Iron Man Finale (IMF) which turned out to be the best game of the day, especially for Bob Dates who was red Hot while scoring 12 points including 4 deuces, the last of which was the 16-14 game-winner.

But it was LABOR Day, so they LABORED on with an IMF#2 which saw Marsh & Vath getting Boo-ty Calls off to a quick start 9-1 lead & then they shifted into cruise control in a 15-8 win.

For the day, Hot Bob Dates nailed (8) deuces while scoring 26 points to give his team their name, and his brother-in-law DJ chipped in with a dozen. Marsh put up 20 while Boo "scored" 11 for the Boo-ty Calls.

I'M READY FOR SOME (FANTASY) FOOTBALL

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

I've been in sports withdrawal all summer, so I'M READY FOR SOME (FANTASY) FOOTBALL starting with the 22nd edition of the TCFL Draft. Hosted by The Miller Family at the Headquarters of Your Legion Of Doom (LOD) with a spread that was much better than a Ski Championship Party, it started with a major upset--everybody arrived in time to eat & then the Draft kicked off at 7pm sharp, just as Commissioner Mighty had decreed.

With only 12 players protected including 9 RB's (Turner, Slaton, A.P., Jacobs, Jones-Drew, Portis, De Williams, Forte, and Steven Jackson), 1 WR (Fitzgerald), and 2 QB's--Brees & Brady by The Miller Brothers, there was plenty of "talent" (to use a Ross homonym) to choose from & the Quick Raiders wasted no time in selecting Andre "The Giant WR" Johnson. The Panthers followed with Peyton "Place" Manning who was unprotected for the 1st time in his TCFL career. Reitzy's DiBros, looking to end their TCFL Championship drought this year, made a fine pick in Chris "CJ Dash" Johnson. Then Frank "Rhino" Gore, who along with CJ, led Your LOD to last year's TCFL Super Bowl, was chosen by Lip's Chunks All Stars. So L.T. dropped to Da Beaves & I'm willing to bet he still has a lot left in his tank for my Bro'. Doug's Cajuns then went hometown with B-Westbrook to end the lottery section of Round #1.

Chuck's Herd then went with Ryan Grant, followed by Ross' Cheat'in Chokers taking Kurt Warner & next another QB Aaron "Brett Who?" Rodgers to Poletti's Whiners. The (3) Top 2008 TCFL franchises then completed Round 1 as follows:

• Mighties: Reggie Wayne "World, Party Time, Excellent"
• LOD: Randy "A Fast WR Gathers No" Moss
• TCFL World Champions Steel: Phillip "Young Man" Rivers

Snaking around to Round 2, those Top (3) then selected:

1. Steel: RB/Director Kevin "Silent Bob" Smith
2. Your Legion Of Doom: Marion "The" Barber
3. Mighties: Donovan "Chunky Soup" McNabb
   

Other notable Round #2 picks were Saints Pierre "The Frenchman" Thomas & Marques "That Sounds French Too" Colston by Ross & Chuck, respectively. Quick ended the Round with Joseph "Vick said those dog must" Addai.

No Eagles fan, nonetheless the Raiders started Round 3 with DeSean Jackson. To quote the Reitzy "I hate to do this" before he took T.O. Another "Troublemaker" Brandon Marshall went to Da Herd. And Tony "No Homo" Romo finally went to Quick with Your LOD's traded pick.

Yet another Quick pick was the 1st "D", the Steelers to start Round 4 and the 1st TE selected was Tony "The Fastest TE in All of Mexico" Gonzalez by Iron who also took K/WR Ocho Cinco in Round 5 which the Steel completed with Bernard "Brett's Boy" Berrian. The TCFL Draft then moved inside in front of the big screen during a break for some delicious desserts (Thanks again to My Wife Karen for Hostessing this event).

The Rounds 6 to 12 highlights were Iron pointing to the Eagles game on the TV & picking LeSean "Hatfield" McCoy (6th), Lip taking Jerricho "She's Staring at Your" Crotchery (7th), Big Ben (who barely won Vs. Shaq) to the Whiners (8), Rashard Mendenhall (9) who along with McFadden & Moreno & Marion B gives Your LOD a 4M backfield. Next in the 10th, Ross went with Wilson & PSU Star, Kerry Collins and then Mighty inexplicably selected EX-Packer & Rival Viking Brett "Retire-Unretire-Retire-Unretire, etc." Favre. That just left Your LOD to select "Mr. Relevant Kicker" Nate Kaeding as the final pick in Round #12 and then proclaim "I'M READY FOR SOME (FANTASY) FOOTBALL".

The TCFL Berks Crew can further discuss all of the above tomorrow @ 8am @ the Wyomissing Family Restaurant as Quick Mike treats at the annual TCFL Berks Stink'in Loser's Free Breakfast.