WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

UGI sent a contingent led by Coach Bill out to Da Hills this be-a-u-tiful AM to announce a rate hike to the HHI Consumers. The contingent included UGI's Tony Rhyme-or-Reason & Crosstown Donald Brown, as well as their Banker--Iron Mike, their Fireman--Who Killed Kenny, their Complainer--Quick Mike, and their Beer Pong Player--Boo. The HHI Consumers were Captained by Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap and included X-Smoker Bob (Mr. Dato to Boo Pong), DJ Jazzy Jones, Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow, What the Heck, Radon Rader, and Diggetty Doug Bails.

During the pre-game the HHI Consumers listened quietly to what the UGI Rate-Hikers had to say including Controller Donald noting we always round up, way up and their "justification" for sponsoring the best Beer Pong Player to ever beer-pong @ The Works. Then the HHI Consumers not so quietly, but rather in Dee Snyder Twisted Sister-like fashion, responded WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT Anymore & then proceeded in Game 1 to stick that rate-hike where the sun (which was just lovely today Outside) don't shine which is the same place where Pat Steaks (who showed up to watch wearing an "Everson Walls" jersey) was operated on (I'll leave the graphic details to him). The final was 15-5 as Heck was both ubiquitous & omnipresent.

The HHI Consumers continued to belt it out in Game 2: We've got the right to choose it; There ain't no way we'll lose it; This is our life, this is our song; We'll fight the powers that be; just don't pick our destiny...and so the HHI Consumers fought the UGI powers & their destiny was another 15-5 Daily Championship-winning victory while Iron & Quick continued to distance themselves from UGI with negativity.

Game 3 was for Pride and Coach Bill gave his UGI-Pods a pre-game pep talk & then showed some I-Touch with a couple of deuces including one while bleeding Chuck Wepner-style after a "Right X-Nicotine Hook" from "That's Mr. Dato to you". This game was kind of close, but the HHI Consumers keys were going deep to DJ to score before Kenny could hack him and when they were in the halfcourt "wait for Bob" before shooting which were enough as they had I-Tunes singing the same old WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT Victory Song.

After the departures of Quick, Brown, Boo and Bails, the remaining (10) Iron Men squared off for the IMF Finale. Before the IMF bell, the UGI Rate-Hikers acquired X-Smoker Bob in a cash & carry deal where Bob got the cash & then he really didn't carry them. That additional expense along with the HHI Consumers intense defense from the 1st two games being a distant memory gave the UGIers the opportunity to sneak through the rate hike, but more importantly the HHI Consumers won the game.

MOVE OVER ROVER, LET JIMI TAKE OVER

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Does HHI have a JIMI or Jimmy or Jim or James? I couldn't think of any, but this is our 18th season, so we had to have had at least one--1st one who can name one wins a prize. What we did have today @ Grace was a ROVER--The Mighty Kerr and we also had (4) Mikes on one team as follows:

• Planters Fascists = Captain Magnum Mike (who was self-diagnosed with his team name), Iron Mike, Quick Mike, Mike Radon Rader, and Non-Mikes: Swoop & Yours Truly
• Bootyist Monks (inspired by the plane message over the Masters: Tiger, did you mean Bootyism) = Captain Gary US Bonds, Scholesinator, X-Smoker Bob (whose niece won the Relay for Life Madness Pool), DJ Jazzy, Pistol Pete & a new guy who could have been named JIMI?
  

Game #1 saw the Bootyist Monks with the Mighty ROVER "shooting the eyes out of the basket" while the Planters Fascists shot like their eyes couldn't see the basket. The Mighty ROVER became a Fascist for Game 2 and learned that Fascists reject (shots) and resist (play tough "D") cultural groups who are not considered part of the fascists' nation (like the Bootyist Monks) and remained undefeated when Planters prevailed.

Thus it came down to the Daily Championship Game where Hendrix would have said MOVE OVER ROVER, LET JIMI TAKE OVER, but the Bootyist Monks had no JIMI or Jimmy or Jim or James, so the Mighty ROVER didn't MOVE OVER & instead made a "Booty Call" while playing his way to the DC @ 3-0.

THE ORIGINAL HANGOVER

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

THE HANGOVER was a big hit last year, but as it turns out it was totally ripped off from a movie made in the 80's that had basically the same plot & basically the same characters except Mike Tyson who wasn't available because he was just starting his boxing career. THE ORIGINAL HANGOVER was filmed in Pittsburgh (Vegas, Pittsburgh--basically the same place) & starred a current HHIer--see if you can pick him out in the pictures below (hint: he's wearing purple):

HHI was Outside this AM with Iron Mike's Top Five List for Da Hills:

5. No furniture moving/set up after games

4. Fresh Air

3. Two courts

2. Save $6 (big item for Coach)

1. Soccer Moms

And although there were no Soccer Moms to be found, we did need both the courts with 18 Hoopsters in action & these squads:
* Quick's Picks = Captain Quick, Scholesinator, X-Smoker Bob, and Yours Truly
* Heck's Pecks = Captain Heck, DJ Jazzy, Iron Mike, and Who Killed Kenny
* Vath's Packs = Captain Vath, Pat's Steaks, Coach Bill, Radon Rader, and their Supplemental Pick--Free Ride Todd
* Stay Puff's Pucks = Captain Stay Puff Marsh-mellow Man, Swoop, No Rhyme or Reason, and Diggetty Doug Bails
* HANG-ROVER = THE ORIGINAL HANGOVER's Mighty Kerr who was easy to find above because he looks exactly the same (OK, maybe he's gained a pound or 2)

Round 1 of the 4x4/5x2 simultaneous courts' relay saw the Pecks out-shooting the Picks Quickly while the Pucks couldn't overcome the Pack's banker deuces by Coaches Pat & Bill, let alone the inside play of F.R. Todd.

So another good thing about playing @ Da Hills that wasn't on Iron's List is that the Stink'in Losers get to switch courts for Round 2. Then the Pecks dropped the Pucks and despite Your Athletic Supporter outscoring Rader 4-0, led by Pat the Packs nosed out the Picks.

On to the Daily Championship (DC) Round where inexplicably the Packs Captain Vath (a.k.a. Peter Piper) Picked a Pack of Pickled Peppers & deParted before Not seeing his team lose all the negotiating Points (i.e. The Pecks kept their basket, ball, shirt color, etc.) & then get out-Pointed for the Peck's DC. Meanwhile on the normal Championship Court, it was the Pucks jumping to a 7-2 lead before the Picks' Scholesy said "we're not going to lose" & he was right as the Picks slapped the Pucks.

The Iron Man Finale (IMF) saw the DC-winning Pecks with THE ORIGINAL HANGOVER'S Mighty Kerr taking on the Picks-Packs-Pucks (3P) All Stars. I'd like to say this was a hard-fought game, but it was more of a laissez-faire affair which ultimately saw the Pecks send Stay Puff Marsh on to his Cruise win-less which will likely lead to his ORIGINAL HANGOVER.