HECK'S REIGN OF TERROR-IFIC

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Over the last 6 weeks that Steve-Roller What the HECK has played, his Team's have gone 22-1 with (6) Daily Championships & (6) IMF Titles, thus HECK's REIGN OF TERROR-IFIC (but don't anybody tell him that since he doesn't subscribe to the HHI Blog). So could this AM bring an end to HECK'S REIGN OF TERROR-IFIC? If you weren't there, then you make the call considering Captains Radon Rader & Diggetty Doug (D.D.) Bails selected these virtual franchises:
* Bails Bonds = Captain Bails, Gary US Bonds, Quick Mike, X-Smoker Bob, and The Mighty Kerr
* Rader Nation = Captain Radon, What the HECK, Iron Mike, Tony Rhyme-or-Reason, and Your Athletic Supporter

Game 1 started with HECK'S REIGN OF TERROR-IFIC continuing as Rader Nation jumped to an 8-2 lead, but then Bails Bonds jumped across the "border line" and started hitting deuces left & right & center until they had the victory putting HECK'S REIGN OF TERROR in jeopardy.

The 2nd Game saw the REIGN raining in buckets and playing bounty-hunting defense against the deuce which resulted in a REIGN OF TERROR-IFIC beat-down of epic proportions as Rader Nation easily tied the Series.

With the court again getting slippery, that just left a winner-take-all game with the Daily Championship & HECK'S REIGN OF TERROR on the line. This was a tight, hard fought game which ended up tied at 13-13 Mockingbird Lane before that Herman Munster wannabe, X-Smoker Bob capped a nice shooting day with a DC-winning Bails Bonds deuce that abruptly ended HECK'S REIGN OF TERROR-IFIC.

SCHWEDDY BALLS

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

If you are here for the Relay for Life write-up & frankly you should be, that's down below this story on HHI Sunday afternoon basketball. It was hot & humid inside the Grace Gym with 14 players in action or inaction after the court turned into a slip-and-slide. Pistol Pete & Quick were the Captains selecting these virtual franchises:
* Pete SCHWEDDY BALLS (click that link to play one of the funniest SNL skits of all-time) = Captain Pete, Boo Pong, Tony Rhyme-or-Reason, DJ Jazzy Jones, DD Bales, Gary US Bonds, and Yours Truly
* Quick Perspiration = Captain Quick, Swoop, Iron, Magnum, Hacker Bob, X-Smoker Bob, and Steve-Roller What the Heck

First off a special shout-out to Swoop & Strap who Relayed all night long for the American Cancer Society, but still answered the day bell for HHI. Game 1 was hard-fought & appeared like it could go either way until the very end when Heck hit a Kobe-clutch shot to win it for Quick Perspiration. Speaking of Kobe, when the NBA found out that HHI was playing a rare afternoon game, they moved his Lakers game to tonight.

Game #2 started like Quick Perspiration wasn't going to be sweating it or SCHWEDDING it as they jumped to leads of 8-2, 10-5, and 14-10 before SCHWEDDY BALLS came back to tie it at 14 on a couple deuces. Then Heck showed great confidence (as X-Smoker pointed out to me on the sidelines as we watched the end) in going for & hitting a deuce to win the Daily Championship 16-14.

We then skipped right to the Iron Man Finale (IMF) as the court was getting SCHWEDDIER by the minute & efforts to wipe/mop it proved futile. So this game was another case of Quick Perspiration takes the nice lead only to have Pete SCHWEDDY BALLS comeback with some nice deuce-shooting despite the slippery SCHWEDDY BALLS. I didn't see who hit the game-winner for Quick Perspiration, as I was boxing Quick Mike out because nobody else was as he had just grabbed 2 offensive rebounds in a row & passed the SCHWEDDY BALLS back outside, but at least it wasn't Heck again as after their game-winner dropped through the hoop I heard Heck say "nice shot Bob". So it was either Hacker, X-Smoker, or Bob Kramer (read about him in RfL story below).

THE LONG & WINDING ROAD

By Your Relay for Life (RfL) Supporter, Jack Strap

For me {Sing it} THE LONG & WINDING ROAD to this year's Relay for Life started at the Hard Rock Cafe in Orlando which was fitting since this year's Relay theme was Rock & Roll. The 6am wake-up call came too early after I was {Sing it} tossing & turn'in, turn'in & tossing, tossing & turn'in all night (Rock & Roll Trivia: this Bobby Lewis song was recorded in 1961, went to #1 on the Billboard Chart, and sold over 1 million copies). So, like George Thorogood in "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer", "we packed up our things & we go" to EcoSafaris in St. Cloud, FL. There Britty & I went on their Zipline Tour which was really cool & Karen went on their Safari Tour while Andrew hopped Disney parks with the Wilson Band who had led off the Magic Kingdom Parade Wednesday. Also in St. Cloud we found a lot of Love Bugs (& I'm not talking Herbie) that urban legend holds that they are synthetic--the result of a University of Florida genetic experiment gone wrong (think it was Tim Tebow's Senior Project), but I digress. After our Tours THE LONG & WINDING ROAD takes us the hour back to Orlando to check Karen & Britty into the Florida Mall Hotel, grab a bite together at the California Pizza Kitchen which was good because I then headed to the airport where US Air gave me no food whatsoever on my Orlando-to-Charlotte-to-Harrisburg flights although they did give me some delays.

THE LONG & WINDING ROAD continued to my house where I grabbed my Led Zeppelin shirt to fit in with the Relay's Rock & Roll Theme and a few other items and headed to SVHS arriving around 12:30am before the Tug-of-War which was my goal. There on the scene were our Captains Diane-dretti & Steve "Swoop" Poletti, Lauren & Christine, Scholesy, Brother Craiger, Mighty, Reitzy. Steve brought me up to speed on what I'd missed: Lipper had been there with his entire family which was great, Poletti Family & Friends had won the Toilet Paper Race & came in 2nd in the Hula Hoop Relay, and also Cool E & Quick, Iron, Commish Wojo-Mojo with Alexa, Pure Carbon Corrine, and Mightiest Monica had been there (the latter 2 returned later & did yeo-wo-men's work out on the walking track).

OK so Poletti was thinking about us not entering the Tug because of back problems (Mighty & Scholesy) & general oldness, but Craiger being the gamer that he is talked him into it. Needing a tugger, we were given Bob Kramer in the RfL Draft who as Poletti said "was the only guy participating that was older than us". So we beat the "girl scouts", but then lost the next 2 tugs in respectable fashion against younger squads. At that point THE LONG & WINDING ROAD was pretty much an oval that we walked while stopping to answer MC Kevin's Rock & Roll trivia questions. Next game was the CD toss which Team Poletti appeared to have locked up with Reitzy, Scholesy & Mighty in the Final against a young dude with a crooked Phils cap, but the kid somehow pulled out the victory.

So at 6am due to Team Poletti's Volleyball Dynasty (5 Straight Championships), that event wasn't on the laminated schedule as evidently our Reading Hospital arch-nemisissy "Jill Came Tumbling After" (who to quote Lauren "got fat") led a drive to discontinue it, but little did she know that they replaced it with our favorite tailgate & 3P game: Washers. That LONG & WINDING ROAD was bracketed double-elimination with 20 teams including 4 of ours:

• Poletti 1 = Mighty Kerr & Mightiest Monica
• Poletti 2 = Scholesy & Reitzy
• Poletti 3 = Stevey P & Your RfL Supporter
• Diane & Christine "Kick Save" Poletti
  

I have to go pick-up Karen & Britty at Harrisburg Airport so this will be continued later....I'm Back, I'm Back in the Saddle Again (Aerosmith). To the Washer Highlights/lowlights:
* Reitzy & Scholesy lose in 1st Round, but it's double elimination
* Poletti 3 gets a tough Round 1 draw against MC Kevin's Posse, but pull it out on a Poletti "in the can" shot which to give you HHI perspective is the equivalent of a Pat-Range Deuce
* Diane & Christine lose to Jill Came Tumbling After, but then Monica & Kerr avenged that loss by Tumbling Jill out of the Tourney
* Poletti 3's theme song is "Another One Bites the Dust" as they win 1-2-3-4 (What are we fighting for) games to stand-alone in the Winners Bracket
* The Final 4 included Poletti's 1, 2, and 3 plus a good team who I remembered the guys from beating us in the Tug
* But this ain't no Tug party, it ain't no disco, it ain't no fooling around as Mighty Kerr hit some big Washers shots to knock out the Tuggers
* The Mighties then faced Scholesy & Reitzy who had impressively battled through the Stink'in Losers Bracket and again Kerry hit the big shots to win it
* So in the Washers Championship Finale (WCF) it was Poletti 3 vs. Poletti 1 who had to win 2 in a row. Mighty continued hot by nailing a "can shot" early, but Poletti "topped it" to take 6 points and he & yours truly then went on to a decisive 15-0 WCF Title victory

So I was on a "We Are the Champions" high & felt surprisingly well after having been up for about 26 hours straight on THE LONG & WINDING ROAD until MC Kevin announced "only 4 hours to go". OMG! 4 hours, how could he say "only" & then it (i.e. the tiredness) started to hit me. When we got back to our tent, I was envious of Lauren Poletti who was "sleeping like a baby" despite all the Rock music blaring & PA announcements. A pick-me-up came awhile later when "Liggerent Lipper came marching in" with Orange Juice for everyone.

I could mention that we saw the Wongs who were making their special Saturday morning appearance that went along with their special Friday evening appearance, but I don't want to give them any PR as I'm frustrated that my recruiting efforts to get them to join our Poletti Family & Friends Team have been unsuccessful. So THE LONG & WINDING ROAD continued as we slowly circled the track, getting passed by many others but we were still going.

We somehow made it to the end for the RfL Closing Ceremony which reminded me that Friday Night while traveling on THE LONG & WINDING ROAD I had missed the Survivors Walk & Luminaria Ceremony to Celebrate & Remember which are emotional but great parts of this event. I may have been tired as of the Closing Ceremony, but my head filled with a lot of thoughts including Hope for my Friend Forever Lip who I walked next to on the Final Silent Lap, for "Free Ride" Todd who has been fighting back against Cancer for awhile, and for MC Kevin who made an impassioned Closing Ceremony address.

I don't exactly know Kevin & his Wife's health situation (Poletti's, please advise), but he said he wouldn't be MC'ing the event next year (although they will be participating). Captains Poletti, please pass on to Kevin that I really appreciate the job that he & "his Posse" have done with this event, and Thanks for all of the smiles & fun & laughs that they have given me as an RfL Supporter and I'm not sure how anyone could follow his MC act.

Final Thanks go out to our Captains Diane & Steve who I also really appreciate their RfL efforts, everyone who was there Friday/Saturday on our Team, and also Thanks to All who participated in our fundraisers over the past year. Our Captains announced that we raised over $8000 (our 2nd highest total in our 6 years of Relaying) for this very worthy cause including Lipper raising over $3K on-line.

Note that Relay for Life isn't just an 18 hour event, it's a year-round fund-raising fight against cancer (a truly LONG & WINDING ROAD) and please participate this Summer in our next big event: ACS Relay for Life Golf Classic which is a being organized by "Chucky Boy" Barbera with more details to come on that.

THE IMPOSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Grace Church is right as their sign says: THE IMPOSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE. The Greatest Comeback in the History of Sports was completed last night as the Flyers down 3-0 in the Series and 3-0 in Game #7 proved that THE IMPOSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE. In HHI this AM @ Grace we had lower expectations of just trying to avoid the 4 games to zero Series Sweeps that have plagued HHI for the past month, thus HHI Founding Fathers Swoop & Your Athletic Supporter appointed themselves Captains and selected these "Sweep-less in Seattle" virtual franchises:
* Super-Sonics = Captain Jack "Will Get You High Tonight" Strap, Quick Mike, DJ Jazzy Jones, Gary US Bonds, and Happy Birthday to Scholesinator who recently turned 50
* Mariners = Captain Swoop, What the Heck, X-Smoker Bob, Iron Mike, and Ian Rocks
* The Rover = D.D. [Diggetty Doug] Bails

The Mariners jumped to a 3-0 Game 1 lead, but that was nothing as the Flyers had just proved POSSIBLE, and the Super-Sonics came back strong. Back & forth they went until the game was tied at 13, then yours truly taking a page out of D.D. Bails Book "Doing the Little Things" hustled for a ball going out of bounds & then quickly found Gary for the game-winning deuce for the Super-Sonics with The Rover Bails.

Bails roved to the Mariners for Game #2 which was another close one, but this time at the end it was Mariner's Heck hitting the 15-13 game-winning deuce to tie the Series so another HHI Sweep was IMPOSSIBLE--right?

The Daily Championship (DC) game saw Bails again playing for the Mariners as Ian's back went out on him and everyone was expecting a competitive end to a competitive Series, but that wasn't to be (or not to be) as for the Mariners it was "like shooting fish in a barrel" as they navigated their way to a dominating 15-6 DC-victory.

The Iron Man Finale (IMF) fortunately got back to competitive HHI basketball as the Super-Sonics bounced back while the Bails-full Mariners continued to play well in a fast-paced game, but at the end it was Heck nailing another game-winning Mariners deuce and more importantly Bails again proving that THE IMPOSSIBLE IS POSSIBLE as he finished 4-0 for the HHI Grand Champion Sweep.

HOOPS & POKER DOUBLE-HEADER

By Your HOOPS & POKER DOUBLE-HEADER Supporter, Jack Strap

Today we challenged the physical & mental capacities of those with the intestinal & extestinal fortitude to partake in the HOOPS & POKER DOUBLE-HEADER and it seems fitting on this windy day to quote Mr. Cub Ernie Banks "let's play two". Today also marked the return for this HOOPS & POKER DOUBLE-HEADER of The Deputy B.C. who last played about a decade ago before joining the Navy & Swishy Kurtzy who I had to pay with a shower & pizza to make a special guest appearance.

We started early with HOOPS @ Grace and Heck & Marsh as the Captains who created these POKER-inspired Teams:
* Shuffle-Up = Captain Heck, Pat Steaks, Magnum, DJ Jazzy Jones, Quick Mike, The Deputy BC, and Your HOOPS Supporter
* And Deal = Captain Marsh, Sheriff Hacker Bob, Swishy Kurtzy, X-Smoker Bob, Gary US Bonds, Iron Mike, and Swoop

Game 1 started with Shuffle-Up taking a slim 3-2 lead at "the flop", but then at "the turn" went on a 5-0 run before drowning And Deal on "the river" and taking "the pot" with a 15-6 win. The 2nd game of the HOOPS & POKER DOUBLE-HEADER was deja-vu all over again starting for Shuffle-Up with a 3-2 lead & ending with a 15-6 win as they dealt And Deal another loss & took home the Daily Championship.

Game 3 was for Pride and And Deal did have it as Sheriff Hacker Bob finally escaped the Deputy B.C. for a couple of hoops including a deuce for a 5-1 lead after "the flop", but they didn't have enough chips to scare Shuffle-Up out of the pot and Shuffle-Up hung around long enough for Heck to get "the deuce" they needed for a "straight" up victory.

The Iron Man Finale (IMF) saw Pat Steaks continue his long-range marksmanship in leading Shuffle-Up to the IMF Title & the Sweep which was the 3rd straight week of Sweeps which is highly unusual for HHI. Wanted: For next week's HOOPS are two good Captains to pick even teams.

So by early afternoon it was time for the POKER and the DOUBLE-HEADER isn't for everyone as only 9 of the 14 HOOPSters could answer the "Shuffle-Up and Deal" call for POKER. This included Swoop the POKER Host, Kurtzy, BC, Hacker Bob, Magnum, Quick, Iron, Gary (a former POKER Champion), and Your POKER Supporter who were joined by F'in Ross, Mighty Kerr, and former POKER CHAMPION: On the River Reitzy who were all split into these POKER & HOOPS-inspired Tables:
* Acey-Deucies = Ross, Kurtzy, Swoop, Quick, Magnum & Your HOOPS & POKER Supporter
* Kings of the Court = Reitzy, Gary, BC, Hacker, Mighty & Iron

The Acey-Deucy Table was loud & obnoxious while the Kings of the Court Table were more cerebral assassins while drawing "first blood" as they "gunned down" Sheriff Hacker Bob who then showed good sportsmanship by cutting up & distributing my Wife's "world-famous" oooey-goooey bars to everyone. Unlike that Bob Marley song, the Kings shot The Sheriff & also shot The Deputy BC who was the next to go. Then the Acey-Deucies eliminated Magnum, followed by the Kings' Gary, and the Acey-Deucies' Jack Strap & F'in Ross who went all-in "blind" before Reitzy "saw" to it that he was eliminated.

So we had our Final POKER Table: Reitzy & Mighty; Iron & Swoop & Kurtzy from the aforementioned "And Deal" HOOPS Team, and Quick Mike from the Daily Champion & IMF Title-holders "Shuffle-Up". Although I then chose to watch the European POKER Championship, that was only because I could do so while lounging on the comfy couch not because their POKER skills were greater. After Kurtzy & Quick were de-chipped, I returned to the Table to take-over for Mighty Kerr although after Swoop was all-out, Mighty's chips were all eaten by the Final 2: Reitzy & Iron.

So we had a defending Relay for Life Poletti Brickhouse POKER Champion: On the River Reitzy (see that story in this BLOG from February 25, 2007) Vs. last year's Relay for Life Ross' Sly Fox POKER Champion: Iron Mike who had made POKER History (see that story in this BLOG from April 19, 2009) as an Amateur when he took down POKER Pros: Drunk MC & The Black Widow. It looked like it could go either way, but at the end it was Iron Mike who was crowned the 5th Annual Poletti Brickhouse RfL POKER Champion & took home (next door) the coveted POKER Championship plaque (picture to follow) which is the next best thing to winning it all at HHI HOOPS. But the very best thing was that this POKER event will benefit both the Relay for Life and my niece Lauren's favorite charity: Alex's Lemonade Stand which fights against childhood cancer.