MAGNIFICENT SEVEN RE-IMAGINING

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

The original MAGNIFICENT SEVEN was a 1960 American Western film about a group of hired gunmen protecting a Mexican village from bandits.  Following the recent success of True Grit which wasn't a remake, but rather a RE-IMAGINING, HHI Films decided this AM to RE-IMAGINE the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN starring Swoop, Mighty Kerr, Iron Mike, X-Smoker Bob (who is perfectly cast in a spaghetti western), D.D. Bails, Radon Rader, and Sheriff Hacker Bob as a group of hired gunners protecting Grace from ballers.

The MAGNIFICENT SEVEN decided to divide & conquer as follows:

• Big Three = Iron, Bails, and Swoop
• Fantastic 4 = Mighty, Hacker & X-Smoker Bobs, and Rader

Game 1 saw the Bobs deucing it up with two-2's apiece to lead the Fantastic 4 to a fantastic 15-8 victory, and then doing the same deja vu deucing in the 2nd game with Mighty finishing that 15-12 triumph off of a fantastic behind-the-back pass from Curly Rader.

But the Big Three who had decided to take their talents to South Shillington (which is North of South Beach) came up big in Game #3 to take a hard fought 15-14 win to stay alive in this Best of 5 Series.  The Big Three were playing like a Joe Paterno coached team getting better with each game and played their best in the 4th game while winning decisively 15-10 as Iron & Bails scored 6 each.   

So it all came down to the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN Daily Championship (DC) game where the Big Three took an early lead, only to slow down while the Fantastic 4 went zooming past them, then Swoop hit back-to-back deuces to get the Big Three back into it before they hit the fatigue wall head-on while the Fantastic 4 seized the DC.

MAGNIFICENT SEVEN Scoring Summary: Iron Mike led all scorers with 22, followed by 21 from Swoop & that same amount from Hacker Bob including (8) deuces (and another one negated by his foot on the line).  Mighty & X-Smoker each tallied 19 while Bails came on strong with a sweet sixteen, and Rader rounded out the scoring with a double-digit 10.

FREEDOM OF THE PRESS

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

I expressed my FREEDOM OF THE PRESS by announcing & score-keeping at today's HHI games. This was despite criticism two weeks ago about my special PRESS parking place undercover from the snow & then having my tire slashed last week. But I won't be intimidated and remind you all that the Universal Declaration of Human Rights states: "Everyone has the right to FREEDOM of opinion and expression; this right includes FREEDOM to hold opinions without interference, and impart information and ideas through any media" including the HHI BLOG.

I took my FREEDOM one step further this AM by naming myself an HHI Captain (an unprecedented move since I wasn't in action) & naming both Teams which were as follows:

• Liberty = Captain Swoop, Scholesinator, Who Killed Kenny, and Radon Rader
• FREEDOM = X-Smoker Bob, Mighty Kerr, Iron Mike, and Diggetty Doug Bails
• Red Rover, Red Rover = Coach Bill

Game 1 of the Best of 5 Series was a close one, but it was the S&S Express (Scholesy & Swoop) combining for 11 points as Liberty prevailed 15-13, although the game wasn't sealed until a stealthy Rader found himself wide open (and I mean wide open) for the winning layup.

But in Game #2, My FREEDOM Team led by X-Smoker Bob's 8 points scored a decisive 15-9 victory as they ran their "Princeton Offense" to perfection despite none of them being smart to enough to matriculate to that world renowned institution. Thus the Series was tied at one apiece, although Red Rover was 0-2.

The 3rd game saw Liberty Captain Swoop taking matters into his own hand with 9 points, but FREEDOM rung with all their players scoring led by Coach's (3) deuces & D.D. Bails' game-winning shot.

So FREEDOM had the Series lead, but Liberty believed they had unalienable rights to Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness which would come by winning the 4th game. But But (the dreaded Double But) FREEDOM's B&B Wyo-Connection (Bob & Bails) denied Liberty with 14 points in their 15-12 Daily Championship-winning victory.

At that point there was still time enough for an Iron Man Finale (IMF) before the Junior Girls Olympic Volleyball Team was to arrive noting that Grace has the FREEDOM to leverage their HHI Brand to bring in other highly trained athletes (somehow I typed that with a straight face). The IMF though ended quicker than most HHI games as FREEDOM was clicking on all cylinders in a 15-4 beat-down of Liberty. Thus utilizing my FREEDOM OF THE PRESS I can say that My Team swept the DC & the IMF Title.

As the HHIers departed, we declined signing any autographs but engaged in some conversation with the Junior Olympians. Most notable was Bails asking them "What are you 12 and 13 year olds?" to which one of the girls indignantly responded "No, I'm 16". I took this as a positive because it's good practice for Bails to guess way low on the ages of young girls to keep himself out of The Big House (and I'm not talking Michigan) and if you think I went to far with that comment then I'll invoke my FREEDOM OF THE PRESS.

Today's Scoring Summary: FREEDOM's X-Smoker scored a whopping 28 points followed by Liberty Captain Swoop's 20 points which were matched by (10) Coach Bill deuces, although the Red Rover scored 14 of those points for My FREEDOM. Also Bails finished with one more point than the aforementioned Junior Olympian's age.

BAILEY-WILSON vs. WYO-COACH

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

Today's Reading Eagle Sports headline was BAILEY, WILSON Rally by RHS as BAIL'S "Daughter" (see picture below) led the way.
So at HHI today we matched up Captains BAILEY-WILSON vs. WYO-COACH Bill who was there to collect his $175 (equivalent to 29.1666 weeks of HHI Indoor B-Ball) for winning our Relay for Life Foot-Bowls Pool. The resulting teams:

• BAILEY-WILSON = Captain Bails Baldwin, Iron Mike, Tony Rhyme-or-Reason, and the return of Gary US Bonds (with Kassi) who have now finally moved out of the trailer into their new house
• WYO-COACH = Coach Bill, X-Smoker Bob, What the Heck, and Who Killed Kenny
• Rover = The Mighty Kerr

Game 1 saw Iron extending his range & hitting a couple of early deuces for BAILEY-WILSON, but WYO-COACH's X-Smoker Bob matched that and did one better at the end scoring the 15-13 game-winner off a beautiful Heck (Hockey assist) to Mighty (B-Ball assist) to Bob to the Basket play.

The 1st half of the 2nd game was highlighted by BAILEY-WILSON's Tony hitting (3) deuces, but for some Rhyme-or-Reason he couldn't keep that up in the 2nd Half. Meanwhile for WYO-COACH, Heck who was scoreless in the 1st game broke loose for six points, X-Smoker tallied 5 including a No-Tar Left-Handed Hook (NTLH2), and COACH hit the final deuce for their Daily Championship.

At that point BAILEY hadn't matched his "Daughter", but he did lead his WILSON Team in Game #3 by scoring nearly 40% of their points, but unfortunately the Team went ice cold and only scored 8. To the contrary, WYO-COACH was red hot hitting 5 deuces with three of those by COACH Bill including another game-winner. Thus Tony cringed because he's going to be hearing this re-hashed by COACH all week at work. In addition COACH can boast about his aforementioned Bowl Pool Win, as well as raising UGI Central Penn Group rates by a whopping 17%.

But maybe, just maybe Tony & BAILEY-WILSON could salvage the day with an Iron Man Finale (IMF) Title? It was looking good for them when Tony subbed out with a 14-11 lead, but he wasn't confident. And rightfully so as WYO-COACH came back to win it with my Assistant Scorekeeper Kassi recording the IMF-winning basket by X-Smoker and she & Tony signed off on the scorecard to make the Sweep official.

Leading scorers for WYO-COACH were Big Bob with 19, Heck 17, and COACH Bill had a 1/2 dozen deuces and 15 points. Iron Mike led BAILEY-WILSON with a sweet 16, but BAILEY himself was held to 16 less points than his WILSON "Daughter" scored.

IN 2011, EXPECT GREAT THINGS

By Your Athletic Supporter & HHI Scorekeeper, Jack Strap

The Grace sign says IN 2011, EXPECT GREAT THINGS from God. In 2011, we also EXPECT GREAT THINGS from HHI. This started this AM with Keymaster Iron forgetting the Grace key, but it was a GREAT THING that Gatekeeper Pure Carbon Corinne met him at that the Texas Roadhouse "Massacre" to shorten the HHIers wait time. Then HHI was faced with more adversity when they found the baskets weren't set up. But the GREAT THING was that they solved the problem with some great teamwork culminating with Iron at the top of a table/chair stack (although not as high as the Reitzy stack when he brought down The Moose at his Bachelor Party) to pull a basket into place.

HHI then EXPECTED GREAT THINGS from Tony Rhyme-or-Reason & Boo Pong as today's Captains and they responded by creating these squads:

• Busta Rhymes = Captain Tony, Radon Rader, Who Killed Kenny, Quick Mike, Scholesinator, and Mr. Dato
• Boo Diddley = Captain Boo, What the Heck, Mighty, Swoop, Iron Mike, and Sheriff Hacker Bob
• Da Rover = The Lost Baldwin Brother = Bails Baldwin

GREAT THINGS were also EXPECTED of Jack "Pin-Finger" Strap who responded with an innovative new HHI scoring system that tracks game-scoring & player-scoring simultaneously. There was also a thought to track turnovers, but that isn't deemed possible without a super-computer.

So after all of the above, Game 1 finally started, albiet sloppily & void of the GREAT THINGS EXPECTED, although I'd say it was terribly entertaining. Play did improve and continued equally bad & good from both sides as the close game never saw a differential greater than 3 points (I know this because of the innovative new HHI scoring system). But at the end it was a GREAT THING shot by Da Rover--Bails Baldwin winning it for Busta Rhymes 15-13.

Game #2 saw Boo Diddley, which if you didn't know is a scary ghost enemy (see picture below) in the Super Mario Bros games, reigning in deuces (2 each by Heck & Bails Baldwin) while building an 11-6 lead. But Busta Rhymes 6th album was "It Ain't Safe No More" & neither was that Boo Diddley lead as the Busta's not only EXPECTED but got GREAT THINGS in scoring the final 6 points including deuces by Quick "Who Needs Meniscus" Mike & Mr. Dato (a.k.a. X-Smoker Bob) and the game-winning point in the paint by Tony in their 15-12 Daily Championship victory.
But the Boo Diddley ghost was playing for pride in the EXPECT GREAT THINGS Finale and after the game was tied at 6, they went on a Scary GREAT 9-1 run with Mighty scoring the final 2 buckets in their big win.

Just like last week, the Daily Championship team was outscored for the day 40-37, although that's just a statistical anomaly as it's the D.C. that counts. The Daily Totals also saw all lucky 13 players scoring with Heck leading the way with 17, followed by Quick's 10, and 8 points each from Tony & Scholesy.

Moving forward IN 2011, remember EXPECT GREAT THINGS from God & HHI.