GROIN PULLS ARE EXTRA

By Your Athletic Supporter, Jack Strap

So after last playing HHI on Christmas Eve Morn, "Holiday Jack Strap" (Note tomorrow's Mothers Day) was excited to be back in action this AM at Da new & improved Hills. To avoid car lag (kind of like jet lag without leaving the ground which is fitting for HHI), yours truly spent Friday night at the luxorious Poletti Brickhouse Bed & Breakfast (P3B) which is located high above the Les Portes strip.  The accomodations included lively conversation, a complementary Lime-a-Rita which was tasty, a room with a view of the Iron Mike Estate, and in the morning Swoop makes like The Water Boy and fills your jug for HHI action.

But come Saturday morn--Kerry (who has been keeping me & all in the HHI-know with his weekly Mighty Reports), Iron & I were still the only 3 @ Da Hills at around 8:15 or so and it didn't look like there'd be any HHI games.  And then all of sudden out of nowhere Da Hills Expressway opened up and we had a Bo Derek "10" which unbeknownst to me how, were divided as follows:

• Mighty Goods Globetrotters (MG2) = Mighty Kerr, Boo Pong, Gary US Bonds, Iron Mike, and Quick Mike
• Dorf-Meister Generals (DMG) = Stay-Puff Marsh-mellow Man, Dr. Todd (not to be confused with Tarzan the Dr. on Survivor this season), Tony Rhyme-or-Reason, Mean Gene (who makes many look like The Hulkster), and Holiday Jack Strap

Game 1 saw Boo Pong taking a page out of the Giant Lipper's (who I'm sure was smiling down from above) book by running deep fastbreak fly patterns.  As it turns out "Insane Boo" is the alter-ego of Usain Bolt.  But while MG2's Boo was sprinting, Tony R-or-R was scoring for the DMG despite Boo announcing at one point that he was "taking over the game".  The guy who really took over the game was Marsh who led the Generals to the "upset" over the Globetrotters who were without Meadowlark Lemon & Curley Neil.

Game #2 was in Quick Mike's words "a f'in train wreck" (expletive abbreviated).  This was HHI basketball at it's "finest": turnovers galore, ugly misses, bonehead plays, and players trash-talking their own teammates with Quick leading the way on that.  Unfortunately on another of Insane Boo's deep fly patterns, he PULLED HIS GROIN which rumor has it (courtesy of Tony R-or-R) that Boo had aggravated it last night after the bars, although he claims to have been with a "Missy" (see more on that below).  Fortunately MG2 had a sub for just this game who I'll call "a Poor Man's Marsh", although that's the same as "a Rich Man's Quick" and MG2 tied the Series as Iron Mike hit the game-winner.

So it all came down to the Daily Championship (DC) game.  MG2 had some momentum heading into it, but it got lost with their Sub leaving and Boo & Quick hobbling.  Thus the Dorf-Meister Generals captured the coveted DC.

Holiday Jack Strap will turn the keyboard back over to Mighty until June 9 when I return with the Holiday being the TCFL Championship Party at Quick Mike's house in Da Hills shortly after HHI's games (he requires that all take a shower in between).  Everyone's invited & QM announced his preliminary menu: one bag of chips, one bag of pretzels, and although he initially said guests could get water from the hose out back--he changed that to the sink inside.  

Speaking of sinks (& this deserves it's own paragraph), VP Boo told us about one of his Titanic-era tenants who called him over to fix a leaky faucet.  When Boo arrived he found that it was just because she couldn't turn the handle far enough due to her arthritis, so he easily remedied the problem and she tipped him 50 cents (note this was a great tip in the depression era).  But ("wait for it" as Barney Stinson says) there's no truth to the rumor that he told "Missy" that GROIN PULLS ARE EXTRA.